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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27037156">Somewhere Out There</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writingwife83/pseuds/Writingwife83'>Writingwife83</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon Universe, Eventual Romance, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, Memory Loss, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:15:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>30,446</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27037156</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writingwife83/pseuds/Writingwife83</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey cannot move on after the apparent death of Ben Solo and doesn’t believe that he’s truly gone. She’s willing to risk everything to find him again, but what she faces is very different than anything she expected. Could this truly mean the end of the Dyad?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Finn/Rose Tico, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>148</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>116</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Ijustfellintothissendhelp</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/amaliak01/gifts">Amalia Kensington (amaliak01)</a>.</li>



    </ul><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well hello! I’m excited to jump into a multi-chapter again now that it’s been a couple months since Lexie and I finished Alliance. Not surprisingly lol, this fic is born from her prompt and assistance with plotting! And of course, I get to benefit from her wonderful editing skills as well. Jump on in! :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Rey shifted on the creaky cot, flailing in the darkness to hit the clock that was beeping incessantly. Once that was accomplished she sat up with a little groan, arching her back and shoulders in an attempt to loosen the aching. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She got up, throwing a robe on and sitting on the cold stone floor to begin her morning routine of meditation. Everything was quiet that early in the morning, so there was little to distract her, and she was able to retreat into the stillness of her mind and focus on the things that truly mattered. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That’s what she’d been doing every day for nearly a year.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Twenty minutes later Rey had washed up, gotten dressed, and left her room in preparation for the day. She stopped in the common room where she was able to get a cup of caf and some freshly baked bread. As she continued down the hallway towards the library, she greeted a few of the monks that passed her by.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once she’d arrived she made her way to the table where her books and scrolls were still laid out from the previous day. More accurately, where they’d been laid out for weeks now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good morning, Mistress Rey,” one of the librarians said with a smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Morning,” she replied with a quick smile before returning her gaze to the pile of books.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She preferred not to get dragged into a conversation. There were more important things to focus on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Unfortunately though, she’d barely gotten fifteen minutes into her reading and note taking before the sound of her own name made her jump.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rey?” The older woman in the doorway smiled. “I’m sorry to disturb you, but I think you’ll want to come with me. You have some visitors.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey’s brow furrowed instantly. “Visitors?”</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>“Rey!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She couldn’t help but smile as she walked out to the landing platform and heard Rose calling out to her, rushing over to give her a hug. As they embraced she noticed Finn and Poe come into view as well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey pulled away, giving Rose a smile. “What are you all doing here?” The Coruscant Underworld was not a place that could normally expect the generals of the Resistance to be found in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We were making another stop nearby,” Poe explained, clamping a friendly hand on her shoulder as he approached. “Just thought we’d check in since it was on the way.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Finn,” Rey greeted warmly, giving him a hug as well. “It’s so good to see you all. How long will you be here? I can arrange for a place for all of you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The three of them glanced at each other before Finn spoke up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We probably won’t be here too long. Maybe just for today.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not sure we could take more than a day here,” Poe muttered, earning him an elbow from Rose. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It really is so dark down here, isn’t it?” Rose commented with a little laugh as she glanced around.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey shrugged. “It is, but that’s alright. I’m not exactly here to sightsee. Come on, why don’t you all come inside.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They all went inside the rundown stone building and Rey showed them where they could wash up and get something to eat and drink. Once they’d settled in, she took them to the library and briefly showed them where she’d been spending most of her time recently. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As the four of them sat at the large wooden table she’d been doing her reading at, Rose cleared her throat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So this place is...nice. It’s real nice.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Real nice, yeah,” Finn agreed, nodding enthusiastically. “But y’know, while we’re here, we just figured we’d ask-“</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Since we’re stopping by anyway and it kinda just makes sense,” Rose added quickly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right,” Finn went on. “We thought maybe you’d like to just...catch a ride back to the base with us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey blinked, taken aback by the suggestion. She took a moment to process since the offer genuinely made no sense to her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks, I appreciate it,” she replied with a little smile. “But I really can’t leave now. I’m too close to figuring something out, really close.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I understand,” Rose said kindly. “I really do. It’s just that...well, you’ve been here a really long time already. So we just thought maybe you could at least use a break.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, you could always come back soon,” Finn agreed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey shook her head. “No, really I can’t. This just isn’t something I can wait on.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok, that’s it, this is ridiculous,” Poe said, shaking his head. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Poe,” Rose whispered through gritted teeth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I’m not just going to have a polite little chat about this anymore. She’s not being reasonable,” Poe shot back before looking at Rey again. “You need to leave this hole in the ground! You’ve been here for </span>
  <em>
    <span>six months</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and for what? Reading some dusty old books about imaginary worlds? This is a waste of time, Rey, and you know it!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey’s lips set in a hard line at his tone. Suddenly this surprise visit was becoming all too clear. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you thought you could come here and tell me what to do, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> the ones who are wasting time,” she practically growled. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We said we weren’t gonna do this,” Finn sighed. “Arguing isn’t going to help!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Help what?” Rey questioned, her eyes aflame. “Help </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>? That’s what this is all about isn’t it? Talking sense into your crazy friend!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rey, listen, we know it’s been hard,” Rose said gently. “I know what it’s like to lose someone, I do. It’ll eat you up inside until you’re afraid there’s nothing left. But it doesn’t make anything better to just let it consume you. It’s been almost a year and you can’t keep going like this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey’s gaze shifted from Rose to Finn who gave her an apologetic smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s gone, Rey,” Finn said softly. “You gotta make peace with that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You want me to make peace with something that’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>not true</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Finn!” Rey countered, standing from her seat. “If none of you can believe that, then I don’t want to hear anything you have to say.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look, I tried to be understanding when you announced you were running off to who knows where to find answers,” Poe started up again as they all stood with her. “I get that Kylo Ren came through at the last minute and was there for you when you needed someone. But c’mon, Rey! That was all of what? An hour? Are we gonna ignore everything before that hour? Because he spent </span>
  <em>
    <span>years</span>
  </em>
  <span> terrorizing the galaxy, killing people we know and love, and almost killing us more than once! He isn’t what you should be using your time and energy on! The whole galaxy needs you!”</span>
</p>
<p><span>Rey’s head pulled back. “The </span><em><span>galaxy</span></em><span> needs me? So you’re telling me that after I give my life to this cause, eliminate the biggest threat, and turn the last Skywalker away from the Dark Side, the </span><em><span>whole</span></em> <em><span>galaxy</span></em><span> still has the right to demand every bit of my time and energy?” </span></p>
<p>
  <span>Poe seemed largely unmoved. “Nobody’s denying all you did, but there’s always more good we can do. Let’s not forget that even after a year we’re still trying to pick up the pieces after the mess the Final Order left.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And what about me?” Rey's voice had a bitter edge to it. “What if I’m still trying to pick up the pieces too? Except there’s one missing, a big one. And if I don’t find it, I’ll never be the same.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her three friends fell silent.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not that he’s dead,” she added firmly. “It’s that he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>somewhere</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and I need to get to him. If he were one with the Force I’d know it, but he’s not. Ben Solo is out there and I know I’m the only one who can find him. We’re connected, and if I can just find him, I know I can bring him back.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rey, if you’re so connected, wouldn’t he want you to move on and try to live your life?” Finn asked. “Maybe he wants you to let him go.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe I don’t care what he might want,” Rey countered. “If I disappeared and you wanted to find me, would you care that I hoped you’d move on with your life? I doubt it. You’d keep looking if you knew there was a chance I might be found, I know you would.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He would, I’ve seen it,” Rose muttered with a little chuckle, making Finn roll his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not asking anyone to help me, or even agree with me.” Rey’s eye’s hardened. “But don’t get in my way. Especially not when I’ve come this far.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She grabbed a few of the books on the table and marched out of the library, leaving the three of them to fend for themselves. They could find their own way out or stay, it made no difference to her. But she would not allow them to ruin all she’d been working for.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>Rey sat on her cot, sniffing away some of the tears that had filled in her eyes. Anger and bitterness and frustration were what mostly fueled her tireless pursuit lately, but sometimes it was sadness that overwhelmed her. Sometimes it was the loneliness and helplessness and guilt that filled her from head to toe. She’d been at this for a year, and been here in the Coruscant Underworld with the Church of the Force for six months, so of course the separation from the people she cared about hurt her. She hated being away from people she loved. But ultimately, that’s why she was doing this in the first place.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She missed Ben so deeply.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She supposed it was strange that the loss was so great for her, considering he’d been part of her life for little more than a year. And for most of that time their relationship was complicated at best. Poe was right, in a way. She’d only had him, really had him, for about an hour. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Swiping a tear away from her cheek, she reminded herself that the depth of her feelings only confirmed what Ben himself had once told her- they truly were a Dyad in the Force, two that were one. What else could explain how empty she felt without being able to feel his presence?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A quiet knock at the door made her straighten up. “Come in.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rose entered with a gentle smile. “Hi.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi.” Rey gestured to the other end of the bed. “You can sit if you want.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rose took a seat, tucking some hair behind her ears and visibly hesitating. “Look, I’m not here to try and talk you into coming back with us again, ok?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rose nodded. “I thought about everything after you walked away. And the more I thought about it, the more I started to understand.” She paused, looking thoughtful for a moment. “If I thought for one second that Paige wasn’t really gone and that I could find her if I really tried hard enough...I’d never stop. I wouldn’t care what anyone else said. Nothing would be more important to me than that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey gave her a shaky smile. Of course Rose understood in a way that some others couldn’t.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think it’s just hard for the rest of us to understand sometimes, because we don’t understand the kind of connection you have with Kylo- I mean Ben.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey let out a short laugh. “I barely understand it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I hope you get to,” Rose said, her tone full of a comforting conviction. “I hope you find him and you get the chance to be...whatever it is you’re meant to be.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, Rose,” Rey whispered. “That means a lot.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rose shrugged. “I can’t promise Finn and Poe are going to back down completely, but I’m gonna try and talk to them. What you need right now is support.” She glanced around the room. “Especially being here, because this place...Maker, it is </span>
  <em>
    <span>depressing</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey couldn’t help laughing along with Rose, partly just feeling relieved to have someone on her side. It felt so good to have an ally in this very personal battle she was fighting. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So…” Rose added, her eyes brightening a little. “You said before that you were close to figuring something out. What do you have so far?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It warmed Rey to have someone besides the kind monks in the Church of the Force actually express interest in all she was working towards. Rose was right, this was exactly what she needed from her friends.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey gave her a smile. “I think I know where Ben is.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This might not seem like anything terribly unique at this point, but I promise there’s some interesting stuff coming. If you’re curious to see where this goes, do please subscribe, and/or follow me on tumblr where I’ll post links when I update. My tumblr name is “writingwife-83.”<br/>Ch 2 coming on Friday! ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Aaaand I’m back as promised! Enjoy ch 2...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I’m still not ok with this.”</p>
<p>Rey turned to Poe in the cockpit, giving him her widest grin. “I know. That’s why I’m so grateful.”</p>
<p>“And you’re <em> sure </em> we can’t come with you?” Rose asked.</p>
<p>“I’m not saying it’s impossible,” Rey replied. “What I don’t feel confident about is whether I’d be able to get everyone out with me. I only know that if I’m with Ben, we could get ourselves out.”</p>
<p>Finn walked into the cockpit, letting out a short laugh. “So basically, the whole of your plan once you get in there is ‘Ben and I can do anything if we’re together.’ Do I have that right?”</p>
<p>“Finn, I told you, we’re a-“</p>
<p>“Yeah yeah, I know, a Dyad in the Force,” Finn groaned. “It might <em> sound </em> impressive, but I still think you’re taking a pretty big risk just assuming what the two of you will be able to do. Besides, what if he won’t cooperate?”</p>
<p>“Why wouldn’t he cooperate?” Rose laughed. “The woman he gave his life force to is gonna charge in there to save him from some deep, dark void that he’s been in for a year. I have a hard time imagining him saying…” She dropped her voice low. “‘No thanks, I’m good here.’”</p>
<p>Rey smiled at the exchange, turning to gaze out the window into space. It all felt meant to be, what had happened in the past couple of days, and it gave her a level of hope that she hadn’t had in many many months.</p>
<p>After her friends' arrival on Coruscant and their shift to becoming a bit more supportive, Rey had made a bit of a breakthrough. She’d already theorized that Ben had ended up in the mysterious World Between Worlds, but she was still a bit lost as to how she was going to get herself there. </p>
<p>Some of the monks had been kind and supportive during her process of research, but they’d informed her many times that the Lothal temple had been destroyed, forever closing the portal that had existed there. It wasn’t until one of them used some very specific wording that a brilliant idea had dawned on Rey.</p>
<p>
  <em> “The World Between Worlds cannot be reached with ease. It would be a rare location that could act as another portal. It would have to be a place that is unusually highly charged with energy from the Force.” </em>
</p>
<p>That was when it hit her. She wondered why it hadn’t occurred to her before...Ahch-To! She’d never encountered strength from the Force like she had in that cave on Ahch-To. If ever there was a place that had the power to give her what she was searching for, to take her where she needed to be, that was it. </p>
<p>She was thankful then for her friends’ presence, because the monks became less supportive when they learned of her plans. </p>
<p>
  <em> “We cannot condone an attempt to enter the World Between Worlds for the purposes of bringing back one who has died. The Jedi have taught that they are not to be mourned, as they are now one with the Force. Changing this would upset the balance in the Force. Besides, it could mean you’ll never be able to return. And when traveling to such a place, it is nearly impossible to be sure of where you’ll land. The phrase World Between Worlds itself should tell you something important- there are many worlds. Consider carefully before you risk being trapped somewhere you do not wish to be.” </em>
</p>
<p>Rey heard their concerns, but none of what they said overshadowed her need to find and save Ben. No risk was too great when that was at stake. Ben had given literally everything for her, and she was more than willing to repay the favor. And besides, she’d sacrifice just about anything to see him again, hear his voice, touch him...</p>
<p>“You ready?” Poe asked, giving her a nudge.</p>
<p>Rey smiled. “More than ready.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>It felt like a lifetime since she’d been there. To stand there before that deep, dark pit and feel the undeniable pull brought her back to a very different time. The last time she’d done this she was desperate to know who she was and where she belonged. It felt strange to be back in the very same place and already be satisfied with those answers. </p>
<p>“We’ll be right here, ok?” Finn assured her.</p>
<p>Rey turned, giving him a nod and looking at all three of them. </p>
<p>“No matter what happens, I want you all to know I’m grateful for your support. I know it’s not easy for you to understand.”</p>
<p>Rose stepped closer and secured the rope around Rey’s middle and looked at her seriously. “Please be careful. We’re only helping you do this so you can find Ben and <em> come back </em>. We’d never forgive ourselves if anything happened to you.”</p>
<p>“Don’t make us come in there after you,” Poe threatened, which made Rey laugh a little, considering that the chances of them managing that were slim to none.</p>
<p>“Trust me,” Rey told them all. “I don’t plan on being gone a moment longer than I have to. As soon as I’ve got Ben, we’ll be back.”</p>
<p>Concern remained firmly etched into their faces, so she gave them one more smile of reassurance. </p>
<p>And then she jumped.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Rey swam to the stone at the water’s edge, pulling herself up and walking towards the familiar rock face. She could feel the Force swirling all around her, both light and dark, but she focused hard to summon every bit of strength within herself as well. She could only imagine this would take everything she had.</p>
<p>As she reached the large mirror-like stone, the same phenomenon which she’d experienced the last time she was there occurred. She found herself in a seemingly endless lineup of herself, no visible beginning or end. It was as if time and space had no meaning in this place.</p>
<p>Just as with her previous experience, Rey didn’t let it shake or distract her. She pressed on until she’d reached what seemed to be the end of the line. Breathing in deep, she reached her hand out, touching the smooth stone with her fingertips.</p>
<p>“Show me Ben Solo...please.”</p>
<p>For one sickening moment, fear and doubt overtook her. A form took shape in the distance, slowly advancing towards her, and she was briefly and vividly reminded of the aching disappointment she’d felt the last time. She’d been so sure of finding answers about her parents, but had ended up feeling so alone.</p>
<p>But then she reminded herself who it was that showed her she wasn’t alone, and somehow she knew things would be very different this time.</p>
<p>Sure enough, the figure that approached began to take a clearer shape, and Rey felt her heart nearly pound out of her chest as it slowly became recognizable. </p>
<p>“Ben,” she whispered, tears of happiness and relief springing to her eyes.</p>
<p>There was Ben Solo, clear as day. His face and hair were unchanged, but he wore a dark jacket, different looking than anything she’d seen before. He held a cup in his hands, lifting it to take a sip. Almost immediately, he turned and began walking out of view. As he did, Rey caught sight of a strange sign that had been behind his head. It held the image of a stylized cup of some sort, but it was made entirely of little lights, flashing on and off with writing that she didn’t recognize.</p>
<p>“Wait, Ben! Ben, come back!” Rey cried out as he turned and eventually disappeared. She couldn’t lose him, not when she’d finally found him after all this time.</p>
<p>Having the confirmation of his existence, it was time for the next step of her plan.</p>
<p>Rey shut her eyes, stirring every bit of power she could find within herself as she placed both palms onto the rock, and pushing forward. At first she felt nothing but resistance, as if a literal wall stood between herself and her other half. But a moment later, it was as if the rocks beneath her hands had become like a sort of gel, gently giving way to her pressure. </p>
<p>She resisted the urge to even open her eyes, instead maintaining her focus and pressing forward, thinking only of Ben and reaching him. Suddenly it was as if everything beneath and around her gave way, and then she was falling endlessly into what seemed like nothingness. </p>
<p>And just as Rey tried to control her breathing and remind herself again that she wasn’t alone, she felt her body collide with something very real and realized she’d hit the ground.</p>
<p>She’d reached her destination. </p>
<hr/>
<p>“Rey! Rey!” Poe and Finn both yelled into the pit. </p>
<p>Poe began pulling on the rope.</p>
<p>“It sounded like she was yelling for Ben,” Rose said. “Do you think she really found him?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know but whatever happened didn’t sound good.” Poe pulled until the very end of the rope came up empty and into his hands.</p>
<p>The three of them looked at it for a moment before Poe began to tie it around his own waist. </p>
<p>“That’s it, I’m going down there,” he announced. </p>
<p>Finn grabbed his arm, halting him as he looked off into the distance, as if searching for something. Then he turned back to Poe and Rose, shaking his head slowly, his voice full of awe and a little bit of fear. </p>
<p>“She’s not down there anymore. Rey is gone.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>Rey pushed herself up slowly, surrounded by darkness. As her eyes adjusted, she found that she wasn’t in a world of nothingness, not like she’d expected. This was surprisingly familiar terrain. She could feel the slight crunch of plant life beneath her feet and the soft sounds of small creatures in the night. </p>
<p>What she instantly realized she couldn’t feel though, was the Force. Not exactly surprising, since she’d been warned of this possibility, but it shook her nonetheless. She may as well have been blindfolded, or had her hands tied behind her back. The emptiness and silence shocked her, and she wondered how she lived so many years of her younger life without the conscious connection to the Force.</p>
<p>She also wondered how she’d be able to quickly find Ben.</p>
<p>Rey turned at a different sound, and the gleam of lights through the trees. She rushed toward it, holding out hope that Ben had seen her arrival and was coming to meet her.</p>
<p>But as she came through the trees and felt her feet connect with harder ground, Rey found herself face to face with some sort of approaching ship or speeder which stopped abruptly at the sight of her. She held her breath as the door opened and someone got out, disappointed when she realized it was a young woman.</p>
<p>“Hey, are you ok?”</p>
<p>Rey squinted, barely able to make her out with the lights shining behind her.</p>
<p>“I- I’m fine,” she answered, shielding her eyes. “I’m looking for someone.”</p>
<p>The woman laughed a little. “At night, in the middle of the street? Listen, if you need to call someone you can use my phone.”</p>
<p>Rey frowned. “Your what? Look, I appreciate the concern but I really can’t waste time here. I’m looking for Ben Solo. Have you seen him? I think he’s here in this world. He’s tall, dark hair, dark eyes. Usually looks serious.”</p>
<p>“Sorry, I dunno if I’ve seen him. To be honest though, you just described probably hundreds of men. Doesn’t really narrow it down much.”</p>
<p>“Hundreds?” Rey started to feel panicked. “Are there that many people around here?”</p>
<p>She laughed again. “Of course! I mean, you’re right outside the city, so that means quite a lot of people. Listen, I hate to leave you out here in the street. You sure you’ll be ok?”</p>
<p>“I’ll be fine, thanks,” Rey replied with a little nod, though she was beginning to think she might not be.</p>
<p>The young woman hesitated a moment, taking a few steps away before turning back to Rey again.</p>
<p>“Do you have somewhere to stay? Or do you know if someone is coming to get you?”</p>
<p>Rey looked around, beginning to feel a little helpless. It was the dead of night, she had no idea how close Ben was, and apparently she was going to have to sift through countless people to track him down. </p>
<p>“Actually...no,” she finally replied quietly. “I just arrived so I’m not sure where to stay.”</p>
<p>“Why don’t you let me give you a ride and find you somewhere to stay for the night?” The woman stepped a little closer and her lovely face and dark hair came into view. “What’s your name?”</p>
<p>Rey put out her hand, which the young woman took warmly. “I’m Rey.”</p>
<p>The woman smiled, and somehow, even before she answered Rey could swear the hairs on the back of her neck began to lift.</p>
<p>“Nice to meet you, Rey. I’m Paige Tico.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hopefully that was a fun and unexpected moment! :D Ok so I’ve decided I’ll try to stick with Friday, so you can expect ch 3 in one week. I wanted to get 1 and 2 posted a little more quickly only because I get that nobody is really thrilled for chapters that don’t even include reylo interactions. I can’t promise a lot in ch 3, but at least things will get rolling. Hope to see you then! ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Let’s get into the meat of the plot, shall we?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Rey tried her very best not to stare. She tried not to begin firing off question after question. But sitting there, arm’s length away from </span>
  <em>
    <span>Paige Tico</span>
  </em>
  <span>...it was too much to process. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Paige glanced over as she steered the vehicle. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You definitely don’t look like you’re from around here. Were you at some kind of party or something?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey looked down at herself, wondering how anyone could think she’d just been attending a party. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No I was, um...just traveling,” she explained softly, realizing that she couldn’t possibly offer a full explanation to anyone she encountered here. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Except for Ben of course. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So this guy you’re looking for,” Paige went on. “Was he supposed to meet you? I hope he didn’t stand you up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey stared out the window at the visible lights as they approached the city. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” she replied. “He actually doesn’t know I’m here. Not yet.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gutsy move! Good for you! I hope he’s worth it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey smiled. “He is.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A few minutes later, Paige pulled up to a large building that was apparently some sort of place to stay, which prompted a conversation Rey had not anticipated upon traveling to another world. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, you have no money? Not even a credit card on you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I would have brought credits with me,” Rey explained. “But I honestly didn’t think they’d be of use here. Besides, I didn’t think I’d even be here long enough to need them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Paige sighed. “For future reference, traveling with absolutely nothing is probably not the best idea. There is such a thing as traveling </span>
  <em>
    <span>too</span>
  </em>
  <span> light.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She paused in thought for a moment, staring out her window before looking back at Rey. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt here and hoping you’re not some complete psycho, ok? So if you want, I can let you stay at my place, at least until you find this guy you’re looking for.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey shook her head. “Paige, that’s very kind, but I can’t ask you to do that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Paige shrugged. “You’re not. I’m asking you. Where else are you gonna go? You’d be on the street.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey considered that, almost saying that it was nothing she hadn’t experienced before. But this place was very different, and completely unfamiliar to her. She knew she wasn’t doing herself any favors by cutting ties with a possible ally.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Besides, now she was desperate to get answers about how it was possible that she was here with Paige Tico, who seemed real and very much alive.     </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She gave Paige a smile. “Ok. Thanks, I really appreciate it. I’m sure it won’t be for long.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I sure hope not, because if it is I think I’ll have to hunt down this Ben guy and give him a piece of my mind,” Paige said with a laugh. “He’d better appreciate you making the trip just to surprise him!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Rey agreed with a sigh. “He’d better.”</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>A delicious smell hit Rey’s nose right as she awoke the next morning. She rolled over in the little bed, admiring the simple but cozy surroundings in the light of day, since it had been the dead of night by the time they’d arrived at Paige’s home. If she weren’t so wracked with worry over finding Ben, she’d really be able to enjoy this little place.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey’s stomach soon urged her to follow the smells and sounds coming from the kitchen, so she got up and walked out to investigate. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Morning,” Paige greeted. “I’m making pancakes. You want some?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Pancakes?” Rey asked, peering at the flat round things cooking which looked delightful despite being unfamiliar. “Sure, I’ll try them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have to go into work in another hour but at least I didn’t have to open up, so I figured I’d take advantage of the lazy morning and make a nice breakfast.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you do for work?” Rey asked, taking a seat at the table.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I work at a cafe a couple blocks from here. We sell coffee, tea, pastries, sandwiches. Y’know, the usual stuff.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey assumed Paige was talking about caf and similar items.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sat there silently for a few minutes, still working on coming to grips with this place, whatever it was. She was pretty sure it wasn’t the World Between Worlds, because none of this fit what little she’d been able to learn about the place. This was just some other strange universe, which apparently was home to some of the people who’d previously existed in hers. She wondered if Paige had any clue about existing elsewhere before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So...where are you from?” Rey asked cautiously.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Paige shrugged. “I’m from here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, ok.” Rey nodded. “So you mean, you’ve always lived here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yep,” she confirmed instantly. “It’s a nice city.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was no hint of deception or hesitance in Paige’s voice. It didn’t seem like she was concealing anything, it seemed like that’s what she truly believed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can come with me if you want. To the cafe, I mean,” Paige offered, setting a plate of pancakes down in front of Rey and pushing over a bottle of some sort of deep brown liquid. “It’s not exciting, but at least it’s something to do. And you can try looking this guy up since Captain’s Cafe has WiFi. Do you really not have a phone?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey watched as Paige poured some of the brown shimmering liquid on her own pancakes, so she proceeded to do the same.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, no. I don’t have a phone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Paige laughed. “Geez, girl, how are you getting around without a phone? You’re gonna need to get one, especially if you’re trying to get in touch with someone. I have an older one you can use for now if you want.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure, I guess I should do that.” Rey took a bite and her eyes nearly popped out of her head. “Maker, these are </span>
  <em>
    <span>amazing</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When we get to the cafe I’ll make you one of my special lattes and then you’ll </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> be impressed,” Paige said with a proud grin.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>That afternoon, Rey sat at a little table, surveying the cafe. The place was lovely in a simple kind of way, which genuinely appealed to her. She’d asked Paige why it was called “Captain’s Cafe” and Paige explained that it wasn’t far from a small airport. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She settled in, holding the small communication device in her hands that Paige had loaned her. When they’d turned this thing on and Rey was having to set it up, she was presented with language choices, most of which she’d never seen before. Thankfully, one of them was Arubesh. That surprised her, making her realize that perhaps this world wasn’t so completely separate from her own. Clearly there was at least some small connection. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Paige showed her there was a special search feature on this small device, where she could even look for people by name, so Rey decided that’s what she’d work on. Paige gave her a book of paper and a writing implement, and she settled in, ready to finally find Ben. She took a sip of the hot and slightly sweet latte Paige made for her, and began typing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ten minutes later, she was very confused.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey tried searching for Ben, Benjamin, and Benedict. She tried Solo, Organa, Skywalker, and Kenobi, and every possible combination of those first and last names. She even tried Kylo Ren. And every single search came up empty. There were no results for anyone by those names. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She’d been so sure he was here. Could he have taken a completely different name? Perhaps he was trying to hide here.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nothing was as she would expected, and she couldn’t yet find a pattern to hang on to. When she had subtly tried to ask Paige about her own family, the young woman didn’t seem to have memory of one. And what was more, she seemed completely unbothered by it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eventually, Rey decided to leave the cafe and try walking around the city. She played around with the phone she’d been given, figuring out how to use the navigation and messaging features. She took pictures of places she thought might be worth checking again. Eventually she walked back to the cafe, happily accepting the sandwich Paige offered her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a heavy heart Rey sat back down at the table, took out the notebook Paige had given her, and opened to a blank page. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She made a single strike on the first line. A mark for day one.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <b>Six Weeks Later</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey set the bags of food down in Paige’s kitchen and began slowly unloading everything and putting it away. Halfway through the process her phone buzzed in her pocket.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>HEY, YOU MIND POPPING BY THE CAFE TODAY? THIS MIGHT SOUND WEIRD BUT MY BOSS MIGHT HAVE A LITTLE JOB FOR YOU.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey thought for a moment. She’d already told Paige recently that she wasn’t interested in getting a job here. She maintained that her stay was very temporary, and wouldn’t want to leave someone in need once she left. Instead of getting a paid job, Rey had begun doing just about anything and everything around Paige’s apartment that she could. Paige was generously allowing her to stay, so Rey insisted that if she couldn’t contribute to the expenses, the least she could do was take care of chores while Paige worked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Another message came in, seeming that Paige had anticipated her concerns.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>IT’S NOT A PERMANENT POSITION. I JUST TOLD MY BOSS HOW YOU’D FIXED A COUPLE OF MY SMALL APPLIANCES AT HOME AND HE’S HOPING YOU CAN WORK YOUR MAGIC ON ONE OF THE ESPRESSO MACHINES. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With that clarification, Rey agreed to head to the cafe after putting the food away.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>“I hear you’re a wiz with this stuff,” the cafe manager said as Rey started opening the machine up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Machinery has always made sense to me,” she replied, almost instantly seeing the source of the trouble. “I think I can fix this, but it’ll probably take me a little while. Do you have any tools here?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do. Why don’t we take this out back so you can work without anyone rushing around you to make coffee.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey followed the manager into the back supply room where he set the machine down and went to get some tools for her. She strolled casually around, waiting for him to return. As she did, something caught her eye that was leaning against the wall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Reaching out cautiously, Rey took hold of the large metal item, turning it around so she could see the front. When she did, her breath caught in her throat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was exactly what she’d seen in the cave mirror that Ben had stood beside. She had never expected to be holding it in her hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The manager walked back in the room and she nearly pounced on him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Where did you get this?!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh that,” he said, glancing down at the light up sign. “Yeah that fell off the wall over a month ago and broke. Practically jumped off the wall actually!” He laughed. “Nearly hit a customer in the head!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey’s head began to spin, putting the pieces together and realizing what all of this could mean. He’d been here, right here in this place. What if he’d been right under her nose for weeks? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I um...I just ask because…” She glanced at the sign, then back at the manager. “I could fix that too if you’d like.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Really? Well sure, if you really want to. You’re a handy woman to have around!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey gulped, feeling she finally had direction and purpose that she’d been lacking for weeks. This is where she would find Ben. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She gave the manager a smile. “Actually, I was wondering...do you still have that full time job opening?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His eyes lit up. “You better believe I do! I’ve been hoping you’d reconsider after Paige told you about it a couple weeks ago and you said no. It’s hard to wait for a good worker these days.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey smiled again. “I get it. I know all about waiting.”</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <b>Three Weeks Later</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Am I ever gonna be good at this?” Rey groaned. “Using this machine is much harder than fixing it!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re getting it,” Paige laughed. “Soon you’ll be cranking out lattes as fast as me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey sighed to herself, glancing up at the flashing sign above the door. She didn’t really want to get good at making lattes or warming up pastries or even fixing things around the cafe. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What she wanted to do was to find Ben and get home. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But she knew being here was her best chance at succeeding in that goal. After starting the job she’d instantly made herself more than available, willing to stay late, come in early, and work an extra day. So far the only real benefit was being able to pay Paige for the place to stay, and being able to buy some of her own necessities during her time in this world. At least she didn’t have to feel so guilty in addition to feeling completely defeated.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey gathered up some of the used cups and saucers, bringing them around the corner to the sink, She was tempted to stay there and hide away, washing everything. But she also knew the real morning rush was going to start any minute so she’d have to get back to the register and be ready to help.                                                                                                                          </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Medium coffee to go. And leave room for cream, please.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey’s entire body froze. For just a moment she couldn’t move, couldn’t even bring herself to look. The words, the voice that had just hit her ears was almost too much to comprehend. It had been over a year, but the sound was so distinctive that she barely even needed to see him to confirm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But finally she turned, peering round the corner to see what she knew she would. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And there he was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The frozen shock began to wear off and as Ben stepped away from the register to wait, partially turned away, Rey rushed over to Paige. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Give me that coffee.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Paige frowned. “What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The coffee for that customer, I’ll give it to him!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok, fine,” Paige finally agreed with a little chuckle. “If it means that much to you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It does,” Rey muttered, mostly to herself as she took the coffee and circled around the counter, slowly approaching Ben. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For a breath, she just stood there, staring at the expanse of his shoulders and the dark waves of hair that she’d so often wished she could touch. And now he was there in front of her, close enough to do just that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey took a breath and then cleared her throat, loud enough that it prompted him to turn. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Their eyes locked. For the first time in over a year, his eyes met hers, and Rey had rarely experienced relief so deep and complete. Even for their eyes to connect like that was perfection, but...Rey also spared a moment of sadness for the void that she was suddenly faced with.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There had never been a single instance of being in the presence of Ben Solo that hadn’t filled and shook her from the inside out. Even across the galaxy, they were so deeply connected that they could truly feel each other, not just emotionally and mentally, but physically. The lack of that connection was something she hadn’t been fully prepared for. It was difficult to be with him in this way, as if they were just shells of themselves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But it didn’t matter, she reminded herself. They were together, and all of this was only temporary. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ben,” she whispered, a smile slowly blooming on her lips. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His expression shifted slightly, and then his lips twitched upward a bit as well. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi,” he replied simply. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t believe I finally found-“</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Medium coffee right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey blinked, frowning. “What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The coffee,” Ben repeated, pointing to the cup in her hands. “That’s mine, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey glanced at the cup and then back to him. “Uh...yeah it’s yours.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok great, thanks so much.” Ben gave her a quick smile as he took the cup and stepped over to the little station with cream and sugar and things. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She stared at his back for a beat, trying to process what was happening, then stepped over next to him as he mixed up his coffee.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ben,” she began again, peering at his profile. “It’s me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben glanced over as he secured the lid on the cup once again, giving her a quizzical look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, have we met before?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After all she’d seen and experienced those past weeks, Rey had never felt like she was in a different world as much as she did in that moment. Suddenly, nothing felt right. It was as if up was down and down was up. She struggled to get her mental bearings as she stared back at him, dumbfounded. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry, you must be confusing me with someone else,” Ben added with a tight smile. “But hey, thanks for bringing the coffee over.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, Ben, I can-“</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve really gotta run and get to work, but I hope you find who you’re looking for.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben slid past her, his arm brushing against hers as she turned to watch him head to the doorway. Out of habit, she reached out to him with her feelings, desperate to understand. But of course she felt nothing but silence. It crossed her mind to grab him, to run after him, to scream at the top of her lungs...anything. Part of her wanted to do all of that and more. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But ultimately Rey found herself immobilized in wide eyed shock as he walked through the doorway, left the cafe, and didn’t even look back as he crossed the street and disappeared. She’d finally found him, and all for this? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben Solo- her other half- no longer knew her all. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Aaaand here’s where the memory loss tag comes in lol. Guys, listen, I know I’m starting off slow here, but let’s not forget that writers live off feedback...and I’m starving over here! XD If you’re reading and enjoying and hitting that kudos, do please say hi and let me know how you’re liking this fic so far. Chapter 4 will post next Friday, so I hope you come back then!<br/>Beta credit to Lexie ❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you SO much to those who commented on ch 3, I big time appreciate it! Hope you enjoy this chapter. Things are going to pick up a bit!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Wait, I don’t get it,” Paige said as they walked into her apartment that night. “I thought you said you knew him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I did- I do,” Rey replied quietly. “It’s just...he doesn’t remember me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well that sucks.” Paige flopped down onto her couch. “Maybe it’ll come back to him though. I mean, he does come in somewhat regularly so you’ll probably keep seeing him. When you first got here and said you were looking for this guy, I wish I’d known it was him! Could have saved you a lot of time. Not that I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>him, but I would’ve recognized him if I saw a picture. He’s some kind of pilot out of the airport that’s near the cafe.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Of course he is, Rey thought with an inward smile. No matter what world he’s in, he’s still Ben Solo. Just like his dad.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey shrugged weakly, sitting down as well. “Even if I’d have known sooner that he’d forgotten me, it wouldn’t have changed anything. The point is, I’m stuck here now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Paige reached over, giving her hand a squeeze. “Hey, this Ben guy might not have been worth the trip, but if it makes you feel any better, I’m not complaining. You’re the best roommate I’ve had in...well, ever!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey could barely smile. It was difficult to even hear those kind words without a pang of sadness. No, she thought, I’m not the best roommate you’ve ever had. You had a sister, and you love each other, and she misses you so much.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was beginning to hate this world.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Rey managed. She inhaled and released the deep breath. “I’m glad to hear it because I think I’m going to be here for quite a while now. It’s hard to explain but I can’t really go back home unless Ben wants to come with me. And now I don’t know if that’ll ever happen.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Paige suddenly got up again. “Ok, you are way too down and it is Friday night, so we can’t have that. Come on!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Where are we going?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Out! Let’s go get a drink, get something to eat, just have a little fun. You need to blow off some steam because it’s been nothing but this guy bringing you down for like two months! And I’m not saying you give up hope completely, but you also can’t keep going like this. You need to be able to smile a little, even if Ben can’t be the reason.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey frowned in thought, realizing Paige was right. She was stuck here regardless, so why force herself to hate every moment of it and live for nothing but bringing Ben home? She finally stood, giving Paige a smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re right, let’s go out. I’m starving.”</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>Ben leaned back in his seat, once again staring at the empty coffee cup sitting in the holder of the cockpit. He’d been distracted by it all day, if he was being honest. Was it a strange trip to his favorite cafe? Yes. But he also didn’t really understand why he couldn’t get the whole incident out of his head. A woman mistook him for someone else she was looking for, simple as that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But as simple as it was, he kept replaying it over and over. Most of all, the look in her eyes. He could have sworn she was staring straight into his soul. He may not have known her but it was clear she genuinely believed she knew him. The thrill in her wide eyes was almost palpable. No one had ever looked at him that way before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He did feel a bit sorry for brushing her off and walking away, but it couldn’t really be helped.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben tried to shake the concern from his head once again, reminding himself that likely by the next time he went to that cafe, that woman would have found the real person she was looking for and there would be no more confusion. It would all be forgotten.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He glanced at the cup again, and this time he picked it up. Ben turned it this way and that in his hand, his eyes narrowing in thought, but not at what he was seeing. It’s what he </span>
  <em>
    <span>wasn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> seeing. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ben</span>
  </em>
  <span> wasn’t written anywhere...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How did she know my name?” Ben whispered to himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He glanced at the captain, clearing his throat as he was pulled from his thoughts. “Sorry, just thinking out loud.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You still want to take her down?” the captain asked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben nodded his head, tossing the cup in the bin beside him before flipping switches to disable auto-pilot. “Yeah, I’ve got it. I’d like to keep busy.”</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <b>One Week Later</b>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben shot upright in bed, sweat gleaming on his brow as his chest rose and fell rapidly. Looking around in panic, it finally began to sink in that he was in the safety of his own apartment and bedroom. Releasing a heavy breath, he leaned backward against the headboard, trying to relax. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’d never had such a bizarre dream.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was really only flashes. Nothing complete or logical, and certainly nothing recognizable. Well, nothing except for </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The flashes of her face and her eyes seemed to burn brightly in his brain, leaving no doubt about who it was he’d just seen. Strange that this unknown woman would have left such a lasting impression on him after one brief encounter. It all felt so real.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’d seen her standing before him, staring up at him with those deep hazel eyes. He heard her softly say, “I’ll help you.” Then he’d seen her with eyes full of tears, gazing at him in some strange mix of pain and longing as he reached out to her, whispering the word “please.” And then he’d heard his own voice again. At least, he thought it was his. Difficult to say for sure, since it was so strange and distorted. “You can’t hide, Rey, not from me.” He’d felt her small hand pressed against his stomach after that, watching as she leaned over him, eyes shut in concentration as her face was drenched in what seemed to be both rain and tears. A moment later and he was holding her in his arms, and he heard himself whispering the broken words, “No. Rey...please...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben ran his hands roughly over his face, trying in vain to rub the images and sounds away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rey,” he murmured to himself in confusion, wondering why his had brain attached a name to this face in his dream. None of it made sense. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But of course, Ben reminded himself, how often were dreams logical? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He got up, used the bathroom, splashed some water on his face, and decided to forget about all of it and try to get some sleep. He returned to his bed, climbed under the covers in the silent stillness of night and shut his eyes, doing his best to ignore the woman that had apparently decided to haunt him.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>As Ben entered the Captain’s Cafe a few days later, he couldn’t help wondering if he’d see this strange woman again. He caught sight of her behind the counter almost immediately, making something at one of the espresso machines. He was admittedly a little relieved when he saw that the other employee would be taking his order. It just seemed wise to avoid another awkward encounter if at all possible. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Medium, hot coffee. Room for cream, please.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The woman turned around instantly when he spoke his order, her eyes locking with his for a moment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben gave her a tight smile and a little nod of acknowledgment. She hesitated, looking as if she was ready to say something, but then she tore her gaze away and spoke to the other employee.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Paige, I’m just, um, gonna go grab some more filters out back, ok?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then she walked away, disappearing through some doors.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben paid for his coffee and stepped aside to wait. He was just thinking to himself that this second encounter could have gone much worse when the other employee called out his order.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ben, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He met the young woman’s gaze who’d handed him his coffee and nodded. “Yeah, that’s me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi. I’m Paige, by the way.” She glanced around her, making sure there was nobody else around, and then lowered her voice a little. “Look, I know it’s none of my business, but I can’t keep my mouth shut.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben tilted his head. “About?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you know she came here literally just to find you? Like, she’s not from around here. I dunno exactly where she’s from to be perfectly honest, but it’s definitely nowhere close by,” Paige said with a laugh. “She spent like two months trying to track you down, and then here you are...and you act like you don’t even know who she is?”</span>
</p>
<p><span>“Yeah, that’s because I actually </span><em><span>don’t</span></em> <em><span>know</span></em><span> who she is,” Ben countered. “What am I supposed to say?”</span></p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t claim to know all the details, but I feel like the very least you could do is give her a few minutes of your time. Just hear her out, and maybe you’ll remember how you know her. And if not, at least maybe she’d have some closure.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben let out a humorless laugh. “Closure from </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sure she can fill you in, but you need to give her the chance.” Paige shook her head. “She’s an awesome woman. I haven’t known her long, but she’s clearly something special. And sane, by the way! I don’t get any crazy vibes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben rolled his eyes, beginning to wonder if this was all some sort of elaborate scam. The two of them were probably in on this together and trying to reel him in. For what, he had no clue, but he didn’t want to stick around and find out. He was about to march out and make this his final visit ever to Captain’s Cafe. That is, until Paige’s next words, and then his world slowed to an almost visible stop. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rey is smart, selfless, and funny. If you don’t think you already know her, I can tell you that you’d be lucky if you-“</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, what did you just say?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was trying to say, you’d be lucky if you did know her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben shook his head. “No no, not that. I mean, her name. What did you say her name was?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Paige paused, of course not understanding the gravity of this piece of information. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She didn’t bother to tell you that? Her name is Rey.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben gulped, feeling like the air had just been sucked from his lungs. He looked away for a moment, trying to absorb what he’d just heard. He vaguely heard Paige asking him if he was ok, because he didn’t look so good. Finally, he met her gaze again, giving her a little nod.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks for the advice. I’ll um...I’ll think about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t wait for Paige to say anything else, turning and rushing from the cafe. He desperately needed fresh air, and he needed to think. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he was already pretty sure he knew what he needed to do.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>Rey shut off the lights in the cafe as she read a text from Paige, offering to pick up some food for them both and wondering what she’d like. Rey replied that she didn’t much care what it was and would eat almost anything. It had been a long day in addition to shutting the whole cafe down for the night and locking up. If she were honest, all she wanted to do was get to bed and sleep, but if it was right there she’d certainly spare a few minutes to shove some food in her mouth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She stepped outside, turning the sign around to read ‘closed’ before shutting the door and locking it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey whirled around, eyes wide at the unexpected sight of Ben Solo standing there on the walkway, hands in his pockets and eyes fixed on her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s Rey, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She nodded, unable to speak for a split second.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rey,” she finally confirmed softly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben inhaled deeply, glancing around as if momentarily unsure how to proceed before finally looking back at her and giving her a quick smile. Rey held her breath as he stepped forward.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This might sound weird, and I know it’s late but, do you have a few minutes? Maybe you wanna get a drink or even just walk around? I uh...I think we need to talk.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey’s lips began to lift just a bit. Those were some of the best sentences she’d heard since she’d come here.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” she agreed. “I think so too.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A glimmer of hope hehe! Tune in next week, because chapter 5 will be posted on Friday. Until then, I’d love to hear your thoughts! ;)<br/>Beta credit to Lexie ❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks to the new readers who’ve joined in this past week! Time for a more productive conversation between Rey and Ben. Read on! :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Rey opted that they take a walk in the direction of Paige’s place. She thought it would be better than sitting still with him somewhere. She was far too jittery for that. After sending a message to Paige to let her know why she’d be taking her time getting back, they set out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As they walked away from the cafe and began slowly strolling through the city, it struck Rey how odd this all was. She’d been so intent on finding Ben, but she didn’t ever think about how strange it would feel to actually be in his presence once again. There was a comfort and familiarity in being with him and seeing him, but there was also something so completely new. She’d rarely been with him like this; so quiet and still and relaxed. The closest was perhaps during their bond in her hut on Ahch-To, but this was still a very different feeling.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I should probably start by saying that I still don’t really remember you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His deep voice cut through her thoughts and she found that his words stung her more than she had wanted them to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey nodded. “Yeah, I kinda figured. So what made you come by then?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben hesitated. “It’s gonna sound crazy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“To me?” Rey laughed. “I doubt it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So the thing is,” Ben took a deep breath. “That other woman you work- Paige? She said something to me yesterday.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey sighed. “Somehow that doesn’t surprise me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She happened to mention your name.” He paused again. “But the thing is, it turned out I already knew it by then.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey frowned, wrapping her coat a little tighter around her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I had this...this dream,” Ben added, then he glanced at her. “Yeah, like I said, crazy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I’m listening, keep going,” she urged, instantly becoming impatient for whatever this dream was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It wasn’t anything real, nothing I recognized. But you were definitely there.” He swallowed visibly. “I heard your name- heard myself saying it actually. So when Paige said </span>
  <em>
    <span>Rey</span>
  </em>
  <span> yesterday, well you can imagine that kind of shocked me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey resisted the urge to jump up and down, though she did gain a little extra hop in her step as they kept walking and she looked excitedly up at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The dream- what did you actually see in the dream?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben looked thoughtful for a moment. “It wasn’t clear and logical, it was like little pieces of scenes, which is how dreams tend to go I guess. But I’ll tell you the little I remember.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He described each scene, a faraway look in his eyes as he talked about how strange the setting was or how he barely recognized his own voice. And with each word Rey’s heart soared higher. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She couldn’t help letting out a little laugh as he finished talking and turned to face him more as they walked. “Ben, this is amazing! Don’t you see? That wasn’t just a dream. Those were </span>
  <em>
    <span>memories</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben stopped short, turning towards her as well and shaking his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, but they’re not, Rey. Not to me. That didn’t feel like memories or real life. I don’t understand them at all, so whether they were real events or not doesn’t change the fact that they have no meaning to me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His stern words and slightly hardened expression deflated her a bit, though she refused to let him ruin the weight of the moment. Regardless of what </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> knew, Rey knew this meant that everything about Ben Solo was still in there. Deep down, he hadn’t really forgotten. Hope bloomed in her heart once more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look, can you just explain to me how we know each other?” Ben asked, shifting his stance and suddenly appearing a bit impatient. “I just don’t understand why that’s something I would completely forget. It’s been driving me a little crazy and I came here tonight because I just need to get some answers.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey stared up at him, feeling suddenly unprepared to detail any of this. Where could she even begin? Their first meeting? Or perhaps it would be best to start with what she knew of him and his life. She could go back to his parents, his fall from the light, his years spent on the dark side. But how could she even hope to cover it all? She didn’t realize until this moment that she actually knew very little of the specifics.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then a moment of clarity hit her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t explain it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben’s brow furrowed. “I don’t understand, I thought you were the one who knew me and remembered all this stuff. So why can’t you explain it to me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not exactly that I </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Rey clarified. “It’s that I don’t think it would really help. I could tell you everything I know of you and everything about the time we’ve known each other, but if this place and this life is all you know...anything I say isn’t truly going to mean anything to you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey paused, twisting her lips in thought before looking back at him. “I think you just need to remember it on your own.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben let out a short laugh. “Oh ok, sure. So I’ll just remember it all.” He snapped his fingers. “Just like that!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Obviously I don’t mean </span>
  <em>
    <span>like that</span>
  </em>
  <span>. What I mean is that it’s all there in your head, and the fact that you had that dream proves it. You just need some time for it to all gradually come back or to access it somehow. There’s something about being in this place that makes everything strange. But, you saw me just once at that cafe and then had that dream, so that probably means that if we keep...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She paused, realizing what her next words were about to sound like, suddenly a little embarrassed. She knew him, but she also didn’t, in a way. Not as he was right now. This conversation was still a bit like talking to a stranger.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Perhaps this hesitance and newness would even have existed if they’d both walked away alive and well from Exegol.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If we keep what?” he prompted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey cleared her throat, telling herself to be a grown up and jump in. “I was going to say if we keep seeing each other.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A smile played at the corner of Ben’s lips and he crossed those impressive arms over his middle. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I ask you something?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey nodded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So if we knew each other before, what exactly were we? Friends? Colleagues? </span>
  <em>
    <span>More</span>
  </em>
  <span> than friends?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was at that point that Rey forgot to be a grown up and felt her cheeks flood with heat and color. It was a valid question, but it was one she didn’t even know if she could answer. What could she say? Was there really one word or phrase to define what they were? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey gave him a quick smile. “I think it’s safe to say that in the time we’ve known each other we’ve been...a lot of different things. Both good and bad actually.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben nodded thoughtfully. “I’m thinking maybe we were good, as of the last time we saw each other? Seeing as you came looking for me. That is, unless you’ve been tracking me down to kill me or something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey laughed aloud. “No, you’re right. We were good.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Really</span>
  </em>
  <span> good, she thought, smiling to herself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, speaking of names,” Rey added, something occurring to her. “Why couldn’t I find you when I did a search? I tried so many names, but nothing came up! It is Ben, but what last name are you using?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My last name is Lars,” he replied, as if there was nothing at all strange about that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey’s eyes narrowed, deep in thought for a moment. Her brain riffled through everything that she knew about his family, coming up empty until she remembered that once, Leia had explained how it was that she and Luke had grown up. Rey let out a little gasp.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, now I remember! Lars was the name of the couple who raised your uncle on Tatooine! I tried all the names that made sense to me- Solo, Skywalker, Organa, Kenobi, and even Ren. I was stumped, but that was the one name I didn’t think of.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well none of those other names sound familiar.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey felt pained to hear it, thinking of Leia and her last sacrifice for her son. Rey wasn’t the only one that Ben had forgotten. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But even the fact that you’re going by Lars makes sense,” Rey said, clearing her head a bit from the twinge of sadness but relishing this added little clue. “It’s not directly connected to you, but it’s connected to your family. It just shows that all your past is locked away in your head and it’s only a matter of time before the rest of it comes to the surface.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben let out a short laugh. “If you say so.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They walked a few more paces in silence before he spoke again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So why </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> you come looking for me then? Some kind of unfinished business?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey shrugged. “Something like that. It was the right thing to do. You’ve kind of been...missing. I needed to know where you were and make sure you were ok. And I assumed you’d be trying to get back home.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben peered at her. “And home is? I’m guessing nowhere around here. That dream looked…” He shook his head. “Unfamiliar, to say the least.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Rey confirmed. “Nowhere near here pretty much sums it up.”         </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What about you? Don’t you need to get back home?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She didn’t want to admit the reality of the situation and how much her getting home relied on him. Not only would it make no sense to him, but it would put unnecessary pressure on him that he could do nothing about right now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eventually, yeah. But for now, this is kind of nice,” Rey said, glancing around. “When I was growing up I spent years staying in just one place, so I do like being somewhere that’s so different from anything I’ve seen before.”                    </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben stayed quiet as they turned the corner of a street. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wasn’t surprised to find out what you do for work, y’know. With the uniform and all,” Rey said, smiling up at him. “You’re a great pilot, and so was your dad.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben whirled to look at her. “My dad?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His expression turned a bit confused and blank, staring in front of him again as if he didn’t know where to look or what to think.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I never knew my parents,” he whispered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her chest ached with sadness at those words. The Solo family was admittedly awash with tragedy, but to forget all of it? Somehow that was worse. Nothingness was a greater tragedy than any of the pain they’d endured. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know you think that,” Rey replied softly, reminding herself she needed to be gentle. “But you </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> know them.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he silently absorbed those words. He wouldn’t be able to handle every bit of truth all at once. Especially not the parts that were going to hurt. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey didn’t push any further, letting silence settle in and the topic fizzle out.                </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Anyway, yeah, I’m a pilot,” he finally said, returning to the previous topic. “I’m a first officer but I’m hoping to be promoted to captain soon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s really great, Ben.” She genuinely was glad that he was able to do something he loved while here in this strange place. “I’m happy for you.”     </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And you,” Ben added, giving her a little nod. “I guess I already know you make coffee.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey laughed. “Um, sort of, yes. But I’m just doing that while I’m here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you do where you’re from?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She opened her mouth to answer but then closed it again, realizing that she wasn’t even sure of the answer. What did she do? After the fall of the Final Order she hadn’t done much at all besides search desperately for Ben. And before then, her life had barely started until the year she spent learning the ways of the Force.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess I’ve spent a lot of time searching for things, either for myself or others,” Rey replied. “But I haven’t really slowed down yet and just...started my own life.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well what do you </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to do?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She gave him a little smile, secretly wondering how Ben Solo had the ability to make her question just about everything in her life, even when he didn’t think he knew her. “That’s probably something I’ll need to think about soon,” she admitted softly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben’s pace gradually slowed and he leaned a shoulder on a lamppost, looking at her intently. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So...you’re saying we should keep hanging out?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey scrunched her shoulders up as a rushing breeze hit them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think that could work to bring things back. I think it’s important for you to remember everything, so you can decide what you want to do from here. And I just want to help you do that. At the very least we can get to know each other.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked away for a moment, laughing softly. “You know how crazy all this is right? I’m crazy to believe any of this. But how else could I have dreamed about you by name? Pretty sure you couldn’t have reached inside my mind and made that happen.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right,” Rey laughed, thankful that he had no idea what they were really able to do with their minds. “That’s not possible.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben sighed a bit and then nodded his head firmly, seeming to come to a decision. “Okay. Spending time getting to know each other. I would like that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey smiled at him in return. “Okay. Me too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And I know you said you’re not in a rush to get back home, but isn’t there anyone waiting for you? Any family?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just have friends. But they know what I’m doing is important,” Rey explained with a smile, her heart warming at the thought of the people who meant so much to her and had quickly become like family. “They understand.”</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>“It’s been five days.” Poe shook his head, pacing back and forth. “I think we all know we can’t keep this going much longer.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter how long it’s been! We have to wait here,” Finn bit back. “She’s in there and what if-“</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Finn, what can we do from out here? Even if she’s in trouble and she needs help, we can’t just march in there!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rose spoke up softly, as if mostly to herself. “She should have been out by now. I’m so afraid something is really wrong.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We should have just insisted on going with her,” Poe said, kicking a small rock in frustration. “Listen, they need us back at base, we’ve already run through most of our supplies, and the trip to get anywhere else will easily wipe out the rest of them given how remote this rock is. I know this isn’t what any of us want to think about, but we can’t just keep waiting here when we don’t know how much longer she’s going to be.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well I’m not leaving,” Finn replied firmly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s Rey supposed to do when she comes out again and we’re not here?” Rose asked. “Maybe even with Ben?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think I have a plan for that,” Poe explained. “We leave, we pick up another small ship along with plenty of supplies, and then we fly it back here along with this one. And then we leave that second ship here for Rey. That way, when she comes back out of that weird portal thing, she’s got a way to get off this island and a way to communicate with us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rose tilted her head. “Actually, that’s a pretty good idea.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn crossed his arms, still dissatisfied. “You two can do what you want, but I’m staying here while you get supplies.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rose approached, placing a hand over his and peering up at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Finn, it’ll only take one or two days to leave and then get right back here. And even if she does come back during that time, we’ll be here again before she even has time to miss us. Please come with us? You shouldn’t stay here alone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He held Rose’s insistent gaze for a moment, glanced at Poe, then finally let out a sigh of resignation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok fine,” Finn conceded softly. “But we’d better make this quick. You never know, Rey could be back any minute.”</span>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>We’re getting somewhere! I feel bad for Rey’s poor, worried friends, but Rey and Ben taking some time and getting to know each other? Oh yes please. Time to start diving into more of that fun next Friday, so I hope you’ll come back then! ;)<br/>Beta reading credit to Lexie ❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“You think he’s gonna come in today?” Paige asked, waggling her brows at Rey.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey laughed and shook her head, but found herself unable to keep from smiling at the possibility. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He did say he’d be stopping in soon. But he also got my number, so he said he’d get in touch that way.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey had to admit that these little communication devices were incredibly useful. Since her interesting talk with Ben two days before, she’d been watching the thing very closely to see if he’d contact her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Paige let out an exaggerated sigh. “I just feel like you two are totally meant to be, and I’m excited that I get a front row seat to see you get together. And I’m not gonna lie, I think I deserve a lot of credit, since I spoke up and gave him a push. You better have me in the wedding!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey felt her face heat up. “Paige, I told you it’s not like that. I just needed to find him because-“</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah yeah, I know.” Paige waved a hand. “You’ve gotta help him remember who he is and get him back home. But listen, if you could see your own face when you talk about him, I think you’d understand why I don’t think that’s all it is. Don’t even try to lie and tell me you have no feelings for that man.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tucking some stray hair behind her ears, Rey tried to keep her hands steady as she placed clean mugs on the shelf behind the counter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well...no, I’m not saying I’ve never had those kinds of feelings for Ben,” she admitted quietly, which was something she realized she’d never admitted aloud to a single soul. “It’s just never really worked between us, for a lot of reasons. I don’t even know if it ever will, really. I just don’t know if I can think about that right now. At least not until Ben remembers everything.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I get it, I know you feel like you need to focus on that because that’s why you came here. But lemme ask you, what if it turns out that </span>
  <em>
    <span>he’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> into </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Paige gave her a pointed look. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As if she were hit by a bolt of lightning, Rey was suddenly faced by the intensely real memory of Ben Solo illuminated by the rainfall of flames and reaching out to her, with his eyes as much as with his hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Rey, I want you to join me.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She had to shake the image from her mind and focus on Paige again, giving her a quick smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ben knows why I came to find him and why we’re going to be getting to know each other. I'm pretty sure we’re on the same page.”</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>Ben couldn’t help but pick up the pace a little as he left the airport that afternoon. He’d been thinking about this all morning. Actually, he’d been thinking about it for the past couple of days if he were honest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was really looking forward to seeing Rey again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben took out his phone and shot off a message as he walked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>JUST LEFT THE AIRPORT. ARE YOU AT THE CAFE? I WAS THINKING OF STOPPING BY ON MY WAY HOME.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This woman was strange, there was no doubt about that. She literally believed he was from some other place and had some other life that he’d somehow completely erased from his mind, including her. Everything about it was crazy. Which was why he had such a difficult time understanding how drawn he felt to her. He’d spent barely any time with her, and already she seemed to have become such a fixture in his mind. Walking with her, talking with her, it all felt so comfortable, even if nothing she said about him made much sense.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He found himself willing to overlook what he didn’t understand as long as he could continue spending time with her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben took his phone out again as he continued walking, reading the message that had just come in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>HI! YEAH I’M AT THE CAFE. WANT SOME COFFEE WHEN YOU GET HERE? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He smiled to himself as he told her he’d love some and continued on his way. Despite having flown for most of the night, the prospect of Rey waiting for him with a hot cup of coffee was more than enough to keep his feet moving briskly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Ben finally pushed his way through the cafe door, there she was behind the counter, instantly grinning and holding out a cup for him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks, this is great,” he said, taking the cup from her and reaching for his wallet. “How much?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No charge,” Paige called over with a wink. “But don’t go expecting free coffee </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> the time, ok? This is just cuz you were smart enough to take my advice the other day.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow, free advice </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> free coffee?” Ben replied with a little laugh as he shoved some money in the tip jar. “I knew I liked this place for more than just being close to the airport.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked back at Rey and she gave him a little smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re heading home?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben nodded. “I’ve been in the air for a long time. I should get some rest before I go back in tomorrow.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You must have gone really far.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Pretty far, yeah.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, what’s your ship like?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben paused mid sip of his coffee, nearly allowing a laugh to escape before he realized her expression was one of completely sincere and wide eyed interest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You mean the...plane?” he corrected gently. “That I fly?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, right, plane. What’s your plane like?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well I don’t have a plane of my own. At least, not yet,” Ben explained. “What I’m flying are pretty large planes and they’re owned by the commercial airline.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey nodded slowly as she listened, but something in her eyes told him that she was not truly comprehending what he’d just described. In that moment, Ben did not doubt for one second that this woman was from somewhere very far away and awfully different. He found that the exchange gave him an idea.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, would you want to see the airport tomorrow? Maybe see some of the planes?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her face absolutely lit up. “That would be amazing!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey’s excitement was infectious and Ben found himself automatically grinning in response. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok great. Why don’t you come to the airport lobby around six tomorrow evening. I’ll be done by then and I can come find you and show you around.” After a beat he added, “We can get something to eat afterwards, if you want.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh I’m sure she’s down for that,” Paige interjected as she passed by. “The woman can </span>
  <em>
    <span>eat</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben had to laugh at the way Rey smiled and shrugged in admittance. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’d like that,” she confirmed, her eyes subtly sparkling in a way that made his stomach flip. “I’ll meet you at six.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok great. I guess I’ll see you then.” Ben lifted the coffee cup. “And thanks again for this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See you tomorrow, Ben,” Rey called after him as he went for the exit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben gave her a little wave, and as he left the cafe he couldn’t help but think that his name had never sounded better than it did rolling off this strange woman’s tongue. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It just sounded </span>
  <em>
    <span>right</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>Rey sat comfortably in the airport lobby, watching the people who passed briskly by with places to go and important things to do. She checked her phone, seeing a message from Ben who said he was on his way, and she felt a little thrill rush through her. She wondered if that would ever go away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn’t unlike the rush she’d feel any time she found herself in his presence back in their world. She could remember her heart pounding and thoughts racing, and sometimes her whole body seemed unable to stop trembling. But those feelings were all so tied up with and connected to the Force, especially in hindsight once her understanding of their true connection was clearer. Here, in this world, Rey knew that the Force and their bond was no longer swirling around and inside them. It couldn’t be, particularly with Ben unaware of who he really was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And yet, the intensity of being in his presence remained.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” he greeted her with a smile, approaching in full uniform, which she’d come to realize suited him so well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This place is pretty big,” Rey commented, glancing around as she stood. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It is, yeah. And pretty much always busy.” He gestured for her to follow. “So I can’t take you </span>
  <em>
    <span>inside</span>
  </em>
  <span> the planes we actually fly, but I got clearance to take you to the hanger and show you around a bit.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t wait to see! Y’know, the last time I saw you flying it was…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>That time you tried to run me down and then I cut off the wing and sent your ship careening into a fiery crash with you still inside it.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was a very small craft,” Rey finished, her voice cracking a little with nerves as she made the easy decision to leave out the details of that particular story.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, then I think you’ll find these planes are </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> different.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben wasn’t wrong. Rey’s jaw practically dropped to the ground when they turned a corner and she saw the type of ships he’d been flying. Not only were they huge, but they were so completely different from anything she’d encountered before. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Some of the people they passed gave Ben a little nod and polite greeting. Rey didn’t know if she’d get used to hearing anyone call him by the last name Lars.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben came to a stop, pointing to one of the large crafts ahead of them. “That’s the one I just flew today before I came to meet you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow,” Rey breathed. “It’s beautiful. I’d love to see the engine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben let out a laugh. “You want to see the </span>
  <em>
    <span>engine</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah I’ve worked on lots of ships,” she explained, gazing up at the shiny, white exterior. “I enjoy it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well that’s impressive. I might know how to fly these things, but I don’t think I could fix them.” He took a breath. “So yesterday I told you I don’t have my own plane. But what I didn’t say is that I do want one.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey smiled up at him, the setting sun casting some warm hues against his profile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh yeah? You mean a big one like this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben shook his head. “Nah, nothing like these ones. Here, lemme show you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They took a walk over to a different area, to a hanger where some smaller planes were. He stopped and pointed one out that Rey hadn’t even noticed at first. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See that? That’s the one I’ve got my eye on.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>That</span>
  </em>
  <span> one?” Rey questioned with a little laugh. “Some of these others look a whole lot nicer. That one looks a little beat up!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Beat up?” Ben let out a little huff. “That one may not look like much, but it’s actually a great model. She’s got it where it counts.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey felt the hairs on the back of her neck lift as she gazed up at him. Standing there in the sunset lighting, listening to him staunchly defend a less than impressive ship, it was one of the most pronounced moments that she’d truly felt she was in the presence of Han Solo’s son. Suddenly, she didn’t feel like teasing him about the ship anymore.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well I’d love to see you fly it,” she said quite honestly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So would I,” Ben replied with a little chuckle. “I don’t think it’ll be happening anytime soon though. Maybe if I get that promotion and spend a year or two on a captain’s salary.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I believe you can make it happen.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey couldn’t help thinking about the fact that this was the man who essentially commanded the First Order. He’d singlehandedly taken down Snoke, the Knights of Ren, and was the one to stand beside her to face the greatest evil in the galaxy. He’d saved her life.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was pretty sure he could do anything.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well anyway,” Ben rocked on his heels. “That’s about all there is to see. All I’m allowed to show you at least. You hungry?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey grinned at him. “Always.”</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>Ben swore under his breath, a bit of the red goop falling onto his lap. Rey laughed a little as he shook his head and did his best to wipe it carefully from the fabric. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is this why I wore so much black?” he asked with a laugh. “Any scene I saw in my dreams seemed to feature a lot of black. If nothing else, it would definitely hide stains.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey handed him another napkin, thinking about the fact that she’d literally never seen him eat before. There were a lot of incredibly simple and mundane things that were so profoundly humanizing, and she’d never experienced them with Ben. Sitting on this little bench, hip to hip with him as he dipped these fried sticks into some kind of tangy red sauce, then laughing at himself when making a mess, there was an air of reality she hadn’t realized she needed so much. There was lightness to him in this place that it panged her to know she’d never seen before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Speaking of dreams,” Ben added. “I had another one last night.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey’s excited answer was a bit muffled, having just eaten another fry. “Really? Wha’ did you see?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It seemed like you sort of...fainted or maybe passed out. Something like that. But I picked you up and carried you to some sort of vehicle or...ship, I guess you might call it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey frowned as she finished chewing her fry. That didn’t seem right. She hoped Ben wasn’t going to start having inaccurate or made up memories popping up in his head. That was bound to confuse things.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think that ever happened,” she had to answer honestly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh. Ok, maybe that one wasn’t real.” He pointed a fry at her. “My imagination must have really gone wild in that dream, then.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey’s curiosity picked up. “What else happened in your dream?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben shook his head, some of his hair falling into his eyes. “Nah, it sounds creepy, now that I think about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right, now you have to tell me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, there was this dark room of some kind with a weird table-chair thing? It seems that I had somehow carried you and placed you into it while you were asleep and then I just kind of--” he paused, seeming to search for the right word. “Sat to wait for you to wake up, I guess?” He glanced at her with a frown. “It’s the last thing I remember. Like I said, creepy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey’s eyes got wide at that description. “Wait, where were we when you first picked me up and carried me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben shrugged. “I don’t know exactly where, but it looked like a forest. There were a lot of trees and green all around.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Takodana,” Rey murmured in amazement as the pieces started to fit together. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s possible that you were right initially, about it being a memory. I think that did happen. Of course I don’t remember because I was out the whole time until I woke up in the-“</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She stopped, reaching the part that felt a little trickier to explain. But she also realized she’d have to start explaining things more fully if she hoped to refresh his memories completely. They hadn’t really talked that directly about their shared past before, and she was nervous about getting to specifics, especially since they would require quite a lot of context. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey took her time dipping another fry as she gave Ben a sheepish smile. “So...I think this would be a good time to explain that we weren’t exactly...friendly when we first met.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, yeah, I do remember you saying things weren’t always good with us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That’s putting it mildly, she thought.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The thing is that for most of the time we knew each other we were sort of…” She considered her wording. “We were on opposing sides of some pretty big issues, and even actively working against each other.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His brows lifted in mild surprise. “Really? Huh, ok.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Rey replied softly, dragging the fry back and forth absentmindedly in the thick sauce before finally taking a bite. “It took us a while to find some common ground and get along a bit better. In fact, what you saw in your dream, that was actually when you took me to...kind of question me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben seemed completely confused by that. “Question you? About what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, it’s hard to explain, but there was some information you wanted and it was something I’d seen, so you thought that if you talked to me you’d be able to get that information.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben nodded thoughtfully, then he tilted his head in interest. “And did I? Get the information from you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey couldn’t help a slightly proud little smile. “No, you didn’t. Things didn’t exactly go the way you thought they would.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He let out a short laugh. “Somehow, I think that’s the thing that really makes me believe you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben popped his last fry in his mouth before throwing out the container in the nearby trash can. He leaned back against the bench, gazing at her, suddenly somber.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y’know I do have a lot of questions, seeing as you’re claiming I knew my parents. For instance, are they...alive somewhere?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey finished her own bite of food then set the container aside, taking a deep breath as she shook her head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, they’re not,” she answered quietly, hating to deliver that news. “And unfortunately, I don’t know how much I’ll be able to explain to you about them and about all of you as a family. I only knew a little. If anything comes back to you I’ll do my best to help you make sense of it, but there’s just a lot that I wasn’t there for and never really heard all the details of myself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Visually mulling that over, he narrowed his eyes at her. “So, we weren’t all that close?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey shrugged her shoulder. “In a way we were very close. But I suppose in a lot of ways we barely knew each other.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Boy, that really answers my question,” Ben quipped, his deadpan expression making her snort.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey offered a sympathetic smile, even though he was staring straight ahead. “I’m sorry I can’t just make everything easy to understand. Sometimes I think I don’t have all the answers either.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, like you said, maybe things will just start to come back to me.” Ben turned to face her and something about his gaze softened, along with the timbre of his voice. “Besides, either way, I don’t mind getting to know you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a depth in his eyes that briefly took Rey back in time, reminding her of other moments when Ben Solo’s gaze had held her captive and nearly brought her to her knees. It felt special and unique, like that particular look belonged only to her. It proved to her once again that he was still in there, the man she already held an unbreakable bond with.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t mind either,” Rey replied softly, feeling especially hopeful in that moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey was sure that very soon, she and Ben would be going home.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>It’s interesting having these two get to know each other when only one of them truly knows everything about their connection and past. I’m enjoying the different angle! Hope you’re enjoying it as well, and if so I’d love to hear from you. ;) Come back next week to see how things keep progressing for these two!<br/>Beta credit to Lexie ❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You may notice I’ve added another ship tag because I am hinting at another one in this chapter. And I just might end up doing more than hinting, because I think they deserved so much more on screen in TROS. Won’t be a huge focal point, but just saying. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Rose stepped outside, glad to stretch her legs after the lengthy meeting finally wrapped up. She thought she slipped out of the room quickly, but apparently someone else had beaten her. She was greeted by the sight of Finn’s back where he stood looking up at the night sky. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” she greeted softly, coming to stand next to him. “So...I guess we’ve got a new assignment. Good to stay busy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rose stared at his profile, so hollow and unmoved, and her own expression fell as well. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s gonna be ok,” she attempted gently. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shook his head. “No. No, it’s not ok. I’m angry, Rose.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Finn…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m angry at myself,” he said bitterly. “I’m angry at all of us. And I’m angry at Rey too! I’m angry we all let this happen. Maybe she lost Ben, but now all of us have lost her!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We- we don’t know that. It’s only been a few weeks.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn huffed. “Yeah, a few weeks! A few weeks in some crazy other world. Maybe all alone, maybe with only Ben, maybe with who knows what kind of dangers. And all the while there’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing</span>
  </em>
  <span> we can do about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rose clenched her jaw, her chest tightening with emotion. Not just for Rey and the sadness over her at least temporary loss, but for her own frustration. Sometimes she felt like she was back on the run with Finn all over again, loyally watching over him as he endlessly chased after Rey. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re all just doing the best we can, even if we can’t change anything,” she replied, a slight edge to her voice. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn sighed. “Like you said, it’s probably good to stay busy. Nothing else to do, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We can be there for each other,” she countered firmly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without really thinking, her hand darted out, gently covering over Finn’s where it rested on the railing. Her fingers wrapped around his, her small hand pressing into his larger palm just for a moment. When he didn’t move a muscle, she chose not to linger, pulling her hand away again, about to turn and go.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rose?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To her surprise, Finn’s hand took gentle hold of her shoulder, drawing her into his chest. When his arms encircled her, Rose fully processed what was happening and reacted in kind, locking her arms around Finn’s middle. She shut her eyes and drank in the warmth of his chest against her cheek.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you,” she heard him murmur. “For being here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Always,” Rose whispered back, and she meant it.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t tell me you’re wearing that again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey turned in Paige’s kitchen, glancing down at herself with a frown before looking back at Paige who had commented from the couch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why? What’s wrong with this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rey, you’ve worn that like three times this week. And I’m pretty sure you’ve seen Ben a couple of those days.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s clean,” Rey argued. “I’ve washed it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Paige let out a peal of laughter. “Yeah, I’m sure it’s clean. That’s not really my point. I was just thinking that you’ve been hanging out with Ben for a couple weeks now and maybe you’d want to, y’know, kick it up a notch. Make a little effort.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The entire exchange was lost on Rey. She shook her head in confusion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Make an effort with what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Paige hopped up from where she sat with a little sigh. “Please don’t tell me that wherever you’re from there’s no such thing as dressing cute because you want to look good for someone. I feel like that’s kind of a universal...thing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey glanced down at her white tee shirt and blue pants again, a little embarrassed that this was so incredibly foreign to her. Of course it was a concept she was technically aware of, but not only hadn’t she thought of needing to do anything like that with Ben, she’d literally </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> thought of before. She’d never had an occasion to dress in such a way to impress someone, and she’d certainly never had the means to do so even if she wanted to. And even here, she’d only bought a minimal amount of clothing so she could get by day to day.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess know what you mean,” she finally conceded. “But I just don’t think I need to do that with Ben.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not suggesting Ben is superficial, or even that you should feel obligated to look a certain way around him,” Paige hurried to clarify. “But...it’s just kinda fun to look a tiny bit cuter than usual sometimes. Not just for someone else, but for you too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey smiled shyly. “But I’m not really sure what else I should wear.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Paige grinned. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>That</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I can help you with.”</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>Rey walked down the street, enjoying the slight clicking sound of the boots Paige let her borrow. Paige had also urged her to try on ones with a significant heel but that didn’t go so well. Rey could barely walk at all and instead borrowed a more practical pair with a flat sole. They were nicer than the boots she was used to wearing though. And with the grey fitted pants, green tank top, and her hair down, Rey had to admit Paige was right. It was a nice feeling to, as she had put it, “make a little effort.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben was getting back from work later that night, so he’d asked her if she just wanted to stop by his place and have a drink. She wasn’t about to pass up an opportunity to see him, so she didn’t mind heading out this late. With every occasion they’d spent together, Rey was becoming more and more attached. Sometimes it was hard to remember this was the same man she’d spend a year literally battling, but once in a while he’d look at her or he’d say something a certain way, and she was reminded that this really was him. It was Ben, just without all the darkness that had weighed him down for so very long.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Over the past couple of weeks he’d had a few more memories come back to him through dreams, and Rey did her best to help him make sense of them. He’d seen himself and Rey standing within the gloomy wreckage of the Death Star, and he also saw what Rey was pretty sure was a memory from his time in Luke’s Jedi academy, as well as a memory from his childhood with his parents. It seemed clear that bits and pieces were going to keep coming back to him now that they were connected in person again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The trouble though, was that so far what was coming back wasn’t truly memories. At least, they didn’t feel that way to Ben. He was seeing it, but it didn’t feel like it belonged to him. At one point he likened it to reading a history book, or learning about someone else’s life. He could see it and understand it, and he wasn’t necessarily questioning that it happened, but the connection to </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> was still lacking. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What Rey tried to focus on instead of his continued roadblocks was the fact that Ben seemed to genuinely want to be with her. She wasn’t chasing after him, begging him to spend time with her and talk to her. He wanted to do that, which was abundantly clear because he was more often than not the one to suggest seeing each other. And when they were together it was easy to be with him, surprisingly so. In fact, Rey often found herself forgetting her purpose, the real reason she’d come to find him. It was easy to get lost in the gentle rumble of his voice, the look in his eyes, and the way he lit up when she got to see that rare grin or laugh. Sometimes she wondered if she was really getting anywhere, but other times she simply forgot to care.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She finally reached his building, pushed the buzzer, and he soon disabled the lock to allow her entry. As she reached the top of the steps inside, Ben had the door open already, waiting for her. She was a little concerned when she approached and saw his expression. He looked almost...upset? Or frightened?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey paused. “What is it? What’s wrong?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, no, nothing,” he stuttered, then gestured to her top. “I like that color.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, thanks! I like green too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben stepped aside. “Come in.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Rey walked into his apartment, she had to laugh inwardly to herself as she recalled the last time she’d been in this man’s quarters. It was quite the stark contrast to this far more homey and lived in setting, especially with him standing there looking so casual and approachable in his tee shirt. Again, it reminded her that this was Ben Solo, and she was finally able to see the real him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is nice,” Rey said, looking around before facing him again. “So, what did you want to do?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben hesitated for a moment, then gave her a little smile. “I didn’t really have anything planned before but...I did think of something just now. I’d really like to show you something. I’ll bring the bottle of wine, you wanna take the glasses?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey agreed, taking the set of glasses and following Ben out of his apartment once again, intrigued to say the least. She followed him up more sets of stairs until they reached a large metal door which he pushed open and held for her. And when Rey stepped through the door and felt the cool night air hit her face as she glanced around, her jaw fell open.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is amazing,” she breathed in awe, stepping out onto the open rooftop and taking in the view. “You can see the entire city up here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben strolled out with her, stepping closer to the railing at the edge as he looked up. “Yeah, this is kinda my favorite place.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey looked over at him, following his line of vision which led directly to the stars. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a long moment, he drew a deep breath and then held up the bottle. “This seemed like a nice place for a drink.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The next half hour was spent talking and laughing as Rey sipped the deep reddish drink called wine that was still a bit strange and unfamiliar to her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But what did I do just to relax?” Ben pressed, both of them still laughing. “I couldn’t have just been waving around one of those glowing sticks all day, every day!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I told you, lightsabers!” Rey corrected breathlessly, wiping away a tear. “And I dunno what you did to relax, to be honest. I certainly never saw it. Whatever it was, I’m sure you could have used some more of it!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah I seemed pretty serious and uptight.” Ben made a stern expression. “Pretty much always like this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It took another moment for them both to catch their breath before a quiet stillness settled in. Ben set his wine glass down and leaned his forearms against the railing, staring up at the shimmering sky. Rey’s eyes stayed more solidly fixed on him than the view above. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y’know, there’s actually a comfort in being in the air,” he commented, his voice having turned softer and more serious. “I like being a pilot because everything feels right up there. I think some people see it as dark and empty, or dangerous. But to me it just feels like home. I get up there and there’s a part of me that wants to just keep on going.” He lifted his arm, reaching his fingers upward. “Sometimes I have to remind myself to stop, and not to go any higher. Because part of me kinda just wants to keep flying until I reach those stars.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course you do,” Rey whispered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her words seemed to make Ben turn, straightening up again and facing her as something noticeably shifted in his expression.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did I ever tell you I think you’re beautiful?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey’s fingers instinctively gripped the railing tighter, as if she suddenly thought she might topple right over it. She could imagine quite a lot, and she’d experienced quite a lot with this man. But those simple words truly threw her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m thinking no, based on the look of pure shock on your face right now,” Ben said with a little chuckle before she could answer. “I dunno, I just thought since we’d already known each other before, maybe I’d already said that at some point.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey cleared her throat, trying to steady herself a little. “Um, no, no you haven’t.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“At least I am consistently an idiot, then.” He gave her a little smile. “I guess I have now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well...thank you,” Rey replied softly, feeling her cheeks getting warmer, and she was beginning to think it wasn’t just from the wine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did I just make it weird? I feel like I made it weird,” Ben added, leaning his back on the railing and peering at her with concern. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey shook her head. “No, it was just unexpected I guess. And it’s not really...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not really what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She inhaled deeply, hesitating. “It’s just…it’s not how we’ve ever been.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben looked away, shaking his head. “I gotta be honest, I’m a little confused.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“About what?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“About </span>
  <em>
    <span>us</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Rey,” he said, looking back at her intently. “I don’t understand us. When I’m with you, I feel like there’s something here between us. And then I have these dreams and I see these moments we’ve had, and it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>intense</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey downed the last, large gulp of wine. “You’re not wrong.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But it’s hard to reconcile that with some of the things you tell me. You’ve basically told me we were enemies, but when I’m with you that’s hard to believe. And now I tell you I think you’re beautiful and you look more like I just insulted you. I just feel like I don’t have a good handle on what we were, and that makes it difficult to figure out what we are now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What if I told you I don’t understand either?” Rey suddenly shot back. “Because I don’t. I really don’t, Ben. What we are is...it’s something I never expected. It’s as if what’s between us is so much bigger than either of us can comprehend, and it’s a little bit terrifying.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once she started, once the words started pouring out, she found she couldn’t really stop.</span>
</p>
<p><span>“I </span><em><span>hated</span></em><span> you when I met you,” she hissed. “I hated you more than I had ever hated anyone else. You hurt me, you hurt people I cared about, and I could even see that you were hurting yourself in the process. I couldn’t bear to watch it, any of it. I couldn’t seem to get rid of you, being near you was the last thing I wanted. Until…” Her voice broke. “Until suddenly it was all I wanted. I didn’t understand it then, and I don’t know if I do now either. It’s not that simple, not by any means, and I haven’t even really wanted to try to unravel the tangle of it. It wasn’t something either of us chose, it </span><em><span>just</span></em> <em><span>was</span></em><span>.”</span></p>
<p>
  <span>Ben’s low voice broke through in her pause. “I’m sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You just said I hurt you. I can’t imagine hurting you,” he said firmly. “I swear I’ll never do it again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ben, I hurt you too! We hurt each other!” Rey countered with a humorless laugh. “Sometimes I feel like all I know how to do with you is fight! Anything else is so unfamiliar. Sitting calmly with you for hours, eating with you, laughing with you...we never had a moment of that until I came here. So if I can’t just smile and act normally when you tell me I’m beautiful, you have to understand it’s because I’ve never experienced anything like that with you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She hadn’t experienced it with </span>
  <em>
    <span>anybody</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she added to herself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben paused, taking a breath and letting it out in a slow puff. “This seems like both a fitting and awkward time to ask you about the dream I had last night.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey’s heart skipped a beat, and something in his eyes told her what he was about to say even before he opened his mouth again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You uh...you kissed me. We kissed.” He shrugged. “So what was that about? You just said we’ve never had anything </span>
  <em>
    <span>like that</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and I assume you mean we’ve never had anything romantic. Are you lying? Or is there something I really don’t understand about that kiss? Was that real or not real?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She hesitated, taking a moment to scan the cityscape before speaking again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Real,” Rey finally answered quietly. “It was very real.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok,” Ben replied slowly, taking one step closer. “So we did feel something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But you’re also right, there is something you don’t understand about that kiss,” Rey added daring to look him right in the eyes. “It was the very last moment I had with you before I found you here over a year later. That one moment doesn’t change the fact that most of the time we knew each other was spent wanting things that the other simply couldn’t give. That one day was the first time you and I wanted the very same things at the very same time. There was nothing in our way, nothing holding us back. But then you disappeared...and it was all over. Nothing happened after that. So that’s still very different from sitting on a rooftop with you, drinking wine, smiling, and hearing you tell me I’m beautiful. Regardless of that kiss, those things are still going to feel new to me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben took one more step. “New...good?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey’s chin quivered a little as she gave him a quick smile. Between the wine, the unprecedented conversation, and the endearing hope in his voice, she thought she might burst.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good,” she finally whispered. “But I guess even something good can feel strange at first.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben smirked. “Am I allowed to say, ‘get used to it?’”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That coaxed a small laugh from her lips. “I’d like to get used to it. I do want things with us to be different from the way they were in the past. I mean, different from most of the past. I think it’ll just take some time. When I came here, I didn’t expect...this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That makes two of us. I didn’t really expect to be falling for a crazy barista who insisted she knew me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She laughed again, but then her breath abruptly caught in her throat as Ben lifted his hand and gently smoothed a fine strand of hair along her temple back into the rest of her hair. His fingers brushed her skin and Rey was struck with a feeling that she hadn’t experienced in so very long. It was faint, but it was also a feeling so unique and so intense, that it was completely unmistakable. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The Force.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hope that was ok,” he murmured. “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey stared up at him, unsure of what to say for a moment as she tried to process the realization of what she’d just experienced. What she’d felt, not just in herself, but coming </span>
  <em>
    <span>from him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How long?” she managed to ask, a little breathless.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben pursed his lips in thought for a second, then gave her a little smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Probably longer than I can remember.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oooh, we’re FEELING things! In all sorts of ways lol. Chapter 8 will be coming your way next Friday, so I hope to see you back here then. Any thoughts on this update? ;)<br/>Beta reading credit to Lexie ❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>For any who didn’t see my update on tumblr, I’m a week late with this update because Covid-19 caught up with my family a couple weeks ago. Started with my son and went through the rest of us in the house within a few days. We all had mild cases and are doing well, but naturally it threw my routine off with all of us being home and school being remote for a couple of weeks. Not that there are hoards of people waiting impatiently for this fic lol, but just thought I’d explain. Thanks for coming back for this update, and to reward you...here’s some big feelings. XD</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Ben’s scream echoed in his own head, the sound in his dream slowly marrying with reality as he jolted violently from sleep. He gasped for breath, clutching his chest in a desperate attempt to slow his racing heart.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a heavy exhale, his head hung down, exhausted from the third horrific dream in less than a week. He lifted a shaky hand, touching his face and feeling the moisture of a tear that had rolled down his cheek.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>How much more of this would he be able to take? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He felt a connection to Rey that seemed to fit with what she’d told him so far, claiming that they possessed a mysterious bond that almost nobody else ever had. He wanted to be with her, that wasn’t a question anymore. But his dreams were exposing the full truth of just what that would entail - all of his past and memories, and not just the ones that contained Rey. Ben was beginning to think he wanted no part of that at all. He was torn and conflicted, being grateful that Rey had come into his life, but also beginning to question how he’d live with all that she’d brought with her. And it was more than just the memories. Worse than the memories were the feelings.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was </span>
  <em>
    <span>anger</span>
  </em>
  <span>, so much anger that he hardly recognized himself. And along with the anger was fear and anxiety. He was flooded with overwhelming fear of failure, fear of hurting others, fear of being hurt, and fear of change. Ben was used to living alone now, but he was also surprised by how lonely he felt in all the memories that were coming back to him. In most dreams he was surrounded by people, but it didn’t matter. That empty ache of loneliness was almost always present.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And if his own churning emotions weren’t enough, he was so often overwhelmed by the voices. Evil, hateful, prodding voices that picked and pulled at him in his mind. The voices urged him to obey and to trust, but always poisoning every moment in such a way that planted more fear and hatred. More than anything, it was hatred for himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He struggled to find kind words, feelings of warmth and security, and moments of true happiness. There were glimpses in some of his memories with Rey, but it never managed to overshadow some of the pain that was much more deeply rooted in those scenes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The more he saw, the more he hated it all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Whoever Ben Solo was, and whatever he’d done, he was glad it was in the past. He very much wanted it to stay there.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>“Ben!” Rey waved excitedly to him as he walked into the cafe. “Paige, I’m gonna take some of my break now, ok?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No making out in front of the cafe and scaring off customers!” Paige called from where she was crouched behind the counter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi,” Rey greeted brightly as Ben held the door open and they both stepped outside. “I got your message. What’s going on?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben shrugged, gazing down at her. “I just wanted to see you. I uh, I didn’t sleep well last night, so I don’t really feel like myself. But I was hoping we could make plans for tomorrow after I get done with work.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’d love that! What should we do?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Something low key would be nice. I was thinking maybe you could just come over again. This time I could cook something for you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey gave his arm a little squeeze. “You don’t have to do that. You’ll be tired from work.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, it’s fine.” Ben shook his head. “I haven’t cooked much lately and it relaxes me, so you’ll actually be doing me a favor.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She grinned. “Ok, well I’m not gonna argue then. I’ll come by after we lock up the cafe. Oh! And have you had any more dreams lately?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben paused, looking away for a moment in thought before giving her a tight smile. “Not that I can recall. Maybe nothing else will really come back to me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey’s shoulders slumped in slight disappointment. She wanted to spend time with him, regardless. But it was a bit discouraging that the past week he’d remembered nothing. She was sure that things would really start flooding back into his mind now that she could detect The Force. But she hadn’t completely given up hope, still sure that the longer she stayed with him, the more his previous existence would be restored.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s ok, I’m sure you’ll remember more soon,” she replied with a smile. She wanted him to remain hopeful as well. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure, maybe,” he said quickly. “Well listen, I gotta get going. How about around seven tomorrow?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yep, I’ll see you then.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben seemed to hesitate a moment, then he stepped forward, unexpectedly leaning down and very softly pressing his lips to her cheekbone. He pulled back slowly, meeting her now half lidded eyes as he did.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See you then,” he whispered, and Rey thought her legs might just give out underneath her as the ripples of electricity continued to travel through her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She did her best to walk back into the cafe without stumbling, glancing back at Ben one more time. And as she got inside, she could only hope that he didn’t hear the way Paige was loudly screaming about what she’d just witnessed through the window.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>A day later and Rey was leaning against the counter in Ben’s little kitchen, a glass of the slightly bitter drink called wine in her hand as she watched him moving back and forth, adding things to the pot on the stove. She’d seen tiny glimpses of Ben Solo and his knowledge of food and cooking at times when they were connected, but it was so brief and vague. It almost didn’t feel real. But </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>? This was right in front of her eyes and it was so wonderfully real. She was enjoying every single moment of it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This smells great,” Rey sighed, leaning her nose over the steaming pot and breathing in deep. “I feel silly just standing around though. I’m not much of a cook but I’d love to help in some way.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben stood from where he’d been crouched, digging out a pan from one of his cupboards. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“First of all, you don’t look silly standing around, you look perfect,” he said, giving her a glance that made her cheeks feel warm. “But...if you’re not a cook and you want to help, you might like taking care of the biscuits.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He opened the refrigerator, grabbed a can and tossed it to her, which she caught.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Biscuits,” Rey repeated, turning the can over in her hand and examining it. “What do I do with these?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben chuckled, shaking his head as he crossed the room to her. “Wow, you really are a beginner. I guess I better explain about opening this up.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why? Is there some kind of trick?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, you could say that. Here, I’ll show you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before Rey could fully prepare herself, she felt the solid warmth of him come up behind her, his chest against her back and his arms wrapped around to reach the can she still held in her hands. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You gotta take the wrapper off first,” Ben murmured, close to her ear, making her eyelids flutter closed for a breath. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He discarded the wrapper then handed her a nearby spoon, guiding her hands to put the canister on the table and place the spoon against it. “Then you press the spoon here, against this seam, see?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mmhm,” Rey hummed quietly, vaguely aware of how she could feel his heart hammering against her shoulder blade as both their hands applied some pressure.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She wondered, how many times had she really just wanted </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> deep down inside? There were so many times she looked at him and felt anger or sadness or frustration. But was this the root of so much of those feelings? Perhaps the bulk of her darker feelings were for the lack of this- the feeling of his arms around her and his body against hers. He was a part of her, down to her very soul, and she was finally aware enough to realize that the lack of him was something that hurt more than she previously understood.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The loud and unexpected pop of the canister made her jump, as if her pulse wasn’t already fast enough in that moment. She could feel his laugh reverberate against her whole body and she automatically leaned into it, soaking it in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok,” she admitted, laughing right along with him. “I didn’t really expect it to do that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I kinda figured you wouldn’t. I usually jump a little too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey was still laughing when she tilted her head up and glanced over her shoulder, but once she met his eyes, her laughter dissolved very quickly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben gazed down at her, only a breath away, literally close enough to taste. She could barely draw air into her lungs a moment later when she felt one of his hands slide over her middle, pressing deliciously against it. The sensation gave her an unexpectedly emotional pause, realizing how very different it was the last time his hand had rested right there. She couldn’t help placing her hand over his, almost as she had a year earlier, holding his palm against her and feeling the warmth coming from it, even through her shirt. Even when he wasn’t literally giving her life, she could swear it felt like he was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rey,” he whispered, his breathing visibly unsteady. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She tilted her chin upward just a hair more, and that seemed to provide the confirmation Ben needed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At the first brush of his lips against hers Rey almost forgot that they’d ever done this before. The rush felt so intoxicatingly new and different. Perhaps because it truly was for him, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> was different now. It was a gentle caress, a careful embrace, whereas that first kiss had been sudden and hurried and desperate. And carefully woven into the pleasure that coursed through her as his mouth moved with hers, Rey very clearly felt that familiar electricity between them...that unmistakable Force. They were so close to something big, she could just feel it. Maybe this was what would finally help it all come back to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She let out an involuntary little whimper of disappointment when he pulled back, turning around to face him and wrapping her arms around the back of his neck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kiss me again,” Rey urged.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I told you I was making you dinner tonight,” he replied with a chuckle. “I’m a man of my word, so I’d rather not burn it and make you starve.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben leaned down, touching his forehead to hers and dropping his voice. “But trust me, I’m not done kissing you. I dunno how I knew you for as long as you’re saying I did without kissing you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was just-“</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Complicated, yeah I know.” He cradled her head in his hands, pressing a lingering kiss to her forehead before pulling back and smiling. “Dinner first, ok?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey nodded, returning his smile and reluctantly letting him go. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Besides, you haven’t even started pulling your weight over there!” Ben called back to her as he returned to the pot on the stove. “I’ve yet to see you do much with those biscuits.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Someone distracted me,” she teased.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can just put them on that pan with some space in between and by the time they’re done in the oven we should be able to eat.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey smiled to herself as she did what he asked. She felt like she was floating; happier than she could remember being in a very long time. So much of the happiness she’d felt in the past year or so had been bittersweet. This was just sweet. She’d finally found him, she literally had him in her arms, and she’d never felt more wanted by anyone in her life. It was a kind of contentment she hadn’t ever expected to possess for herself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe it was the fact that her legs were still a bit mushy, or maybe it was pure and simple chance, but when Rey picked the tray up to carry it across the kitchen to put in the oven, she lost her footing just enough that the tray slipped from her hands. The second that it did though, Ben whirled completely around from where he stood with his back to her, grabbing the tray in mid air before Rey even had the time to make a peep. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whoa, that would have been tragic,” Ben said with a laugh, opening the oven and sticking the pan inside. “There’s something kinda sad about soup without the fresh, warm biscuits.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Rey barely even heard what he said. Shock quickly morphed into amazement. She stared at him, jaw hanging slack for a moment before she found her voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ben, how did you- I mean, you didn’t see me dropping that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shrugged, shutting the oven and turning the timer on. “I must have heard you trip or something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But I- I didn’t make any noise. The tray just started to fall and you just…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His brow furrowed comically. “Why are you looking at me like that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey stepped forward with wide eyes, excitement flooding her from head to toe. She had hoped for this only minutes before, so she was amazed how quickly things were beginning to happen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ben, I think that was the Force!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He laughed aloud. “C’mon, Rey.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, really! I told you that sometimes it can be there even when you don’t realize it. I think it’s coming back to you!” She grasped his hand, looking deep into his eyes. “I’ve felt it...and I can feel it now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pulled his hand away, turning back to the pot and stirring. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey frowned. “Ben, don’t be afraid, this is a good thing. A connection to the Force will only help you remember more about your past and who you-“</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s enough, ok, Rey?” he suddenly cut in, his tone unexpectedly harsh. “I’m sorry, I just...I really don’t want to talk about this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now she was genuinely confused. “Wait, I don’t understand. What’s wrong?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben sighed. “I just want to be with you, ok? I want to spend the evening with you and enjoy that. I don’t want to talk about the Force, or dreams, or my past, any of that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She shook her head. “But all of that is important. Ben, if you want to remember who you are, we’ll have to talk about those things.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If I want to remember who I am?” He let out a short laugh. “Rey, that’s what </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> want!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey felt like she’d just been slapped. “How can you say that? Why wouldn’t you want to remember?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I said I don’t want to talk about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ben, please tell me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This isn’t how tonight was supposed to go.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just talk to me!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He reached up, shutting the burner off on the stove top and setting the spoon down before perching hands on his hips. He stayed like that for what felt like a long time before finally turning to face her, his face suddenly dark and serious.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I lied, Rey,” Ben said softly. “I have been remembering more.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, good!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, </span>
  <em>
    <span>not good</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Rey!” he bit back. “These aren’t just dreams, they’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>nightmares</span>
  </em>
  <span>! Even these little pieces I’m getting are horrible and haunting and they make me wonder who the hell I even am! I can barely sleep anymore and even when I’m awake these images are burned into my brain. Why would I want to remember those things?!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I get it, ok? I do,” Rey attempted. “There was a lot of bad in your past, but it’s all over now. You’re different now and you were turning away from that darkness before you disappeared. It’ll all make sense once everything-“</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I said I don’t want it!” Ben yelled. “I don’t want that sinister voice in my head, and the screams of people I killed with my own hands, and the feeling of people hurting me over and over again! I don’t want to see the look in your eyes that I’ve seen in my mind; either the unbridled rage or the complete despair with tears streaming down your cheeks!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Strange that he should say it, because Rey felt a lump threatening in her throat. She was frustrated, feeling completely blindsided by this confession. And a part of her couldn’t help but take this very personally. He was rejecting everything they’d ever had together up until he gave his very life for her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ben, I came here for you,” she countered, trying to keep her voice steady. “I came to bring you home.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What if I am home, Rey? Huh? What if this is home to me now?” He stepped closer, staring her down. “What if this is enough for me? I’m assuming it’s not enough for you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We have- </span>
  <em>
    <span>I have</span>
  </em>
  <span> friends back home. I have a life. I put all of that aside, and I came here and risked it all just so I could find you.” She could feel her emotions getting the better of her. “Is </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> not enough for </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I never asked you to do that!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey’s head reared back at those words, shock and hurt clearly visible on her face seeing as guilt was instantly visible on Ben’s.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Listen, Rey, what I mean is-“</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh no, I get it. I understand exactly what you mean,” she replied curtly, turning and grabbing her jacket. “I think it’s pretty clear!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please don’t go, I don’t want you to go,” he begged, following after her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey whirled around as she reached his door. “You don’t want anything to do with the past? Well </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m</span>
  </em>
  <span> part of your past, Ben! So I don’t know why you’d want me here!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben threw his hands up in frustration. “Rey, come on! I wasn’t trying to tell you I wished you hadn’t come to find me. I just can’t take this obsession with making me be someone I’m not!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She stopped in his open doorway, shaking her head as she stared back at him, her eyes filling against her will. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re Ben Solo. You can embrace or reject that, but either way it’s the truth. Maybe you don’t want to hear it, but I can’t pretend it’s any other way. I need to go.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He gently took hold of her arm. “Rey, please...can’t we just forget about all this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That might feel easy for you, but it’s not so easy for me.” She removed his hand and stepped over the threshold, giving him one more sad look. “I can’t just forget.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well, it couldn’t all be smooth sailing. How do you think things are going to turn out now? I’d love to hear your thoughts. :) And side note, idk how that scene turned out the way it did, but now I’m not sure if I’ll be able to look at canned biscuits or rolls quite the same anymore lol.<br/>Beta reading credit to Lexie ❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>More feelings ahead, some happy and some sad. Also! For those of you who are also into the other ship/fandom I write for, there’s a little line that I worked into Reylo’s dialogue in this chapter which Lexie and I just felt fit so well. If you don’t know it, it won’t stand out. But if you know...YOU’LL KNOW lol. Read on, my friends! :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Rey took the mug of tea Paige slid across the table to her, holding the warmth between her palms and shaking her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel so stupid.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, don’t feel stupid,” Paige chided, sitting across from her with her own mug. “You weren’t doing anything wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not wrong but just…” Rey thought for a moment. “I was only looking at things from my perspective. It didn’t even occur to me that Ben felt the way he did once things started coming back to him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He could have told you sooner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure it would have made things easier,” Rey admitted. “It just hurts to hear he’s not interested in remembering everything. And it’s hard for me because…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She paused, knowing how difficult this was to explain to Paige. Paige wouldn’t understand why Ben had to remember who he was for her to be able to get home. Why should Ben’s memory or lack thereof have any bearing on her ability to go home? That wouldn’t make any sense to someone else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rey shrugged. “It’s just hard.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But he didn’t say he doesn’t want to be with you,” Paige attempted gently. “You’re not really losing him, y’know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rey slowly drew the weight of the moment into her lungs and then let it out again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But everything I am- everything </span>
  <em>
    <span>we were</span>
  </em>
  <span>- that’s what he doesn’t want. Doesn’t that say something? It’s like he wants me to be a different person!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Paige smiled, looking a bit hesitant. “You know I am on your side here but...isn’t that kind of what you’re asking of him too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rey kept her nose in the mug of tea for longer than she needed to, knowing Paige was technically right once she heard the words aloud. But still...this felt so different. She wanted Ben to let go of a tiny piece of time, but he wanted to let go of the majority of his lifetime. Surely she was being more reasonable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I gave up a lot to come here, I risked a lot,” Rey explained. “There are people waiting for me, and I’m not sure I’ll see them again now. It’s hard to explain, but I can’t exactly get in touch with them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Paige nodded thoughtfully. “But did you know there were risks when you came here to find Ben?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So I guess the question is, if you’d known all this could happen before you came here...would you still have come?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her answer was instant, no moment of hesitation needed. “Of course I would.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Paige shrugged. “Ok, then doesn’t that mean he’s worth it? Wouldn’t that mean that deep down you know he’s worth making those sacrifices for? Even worth losing some things for?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rey swallowed thickly, a lump of emotion having formed in her throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. He is worth it,” she whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Paige smiled. “Then does anything else in the past really matter?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking away, Rey’s friends came to mind, and she couldn’t help but think that this was surely what they were most afraid of. They’d been so concerned when she left, and all they wanted was to know she’d be returning soon and staying safe. If they’d anticipated something like this, they’d probably have tied her up and stopped her from leaving altogether. She could almost see their faces now…</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Almost</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not telling you what to do,” Paige added. “I just feel like you should think about what’s ultimately the most important thing here. What matters the most.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rey gave her a smile. “Y’know, I dunno what I’d have done here without you. I’m not sure where I’d be if I hadn’t met you when I first arrived. You’ve been an incredible friend, and no matter what happens I’ll always be grateful for that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Paige smiled brightly, playfully waving away the compliment. “Nah, it was nothing. Honestly, I’ve loved having you here.” She paused for a moment, looking a little more serious. “I’ve always thought it would be fun to have a sister; that person who you’re so connected to and you can talk to about anything, who just </span>
  <em>
    <span>gets</span>
  </em>
  <span> you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well anyone would be lucky to have you for a sister!” Rey said, then paused inwardly, feeling a very jarring sense of realization.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wait...Paige </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>have a sister. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Rose</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She barely heard when Paige got up and announced she was going to make some popcorn, suddenly wrapped up in a new kind of panic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rey began to realize that only minutes earlier, she’d thought about her friends, but couldn’t quite conjure the memory of their faces in her mind. And that combined with the fact that Paige’s mention of wishing she had a sister </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> instantly bringing Rose to mind made her realize something awfully frightening.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She</span>
  </em>
  <span> was starting to forget.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rey got up, in a bit of a fog but she managed to politely make her excuses to go to bed early and skip the popcorn. She needed to be alone, needed to try and clear her head and think. She was beginning to feel like every possible weight was crashing down onto her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laying back on her little bed and staring up at the ceiling, she wracked her brain, digging and digging at the memories that lived there. She’d neglected them recently, being so caught up in spending time with Ben. The memories were still there, but she was horrified to realize how foggy and dust covered they’d become in such a short amount of time. She’d been here only a few short months. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hey eyes filled almost instantly, thinking about the small group of people in the galaxy that loved her, imagining their pain, sadness and likely even guilt. She wished she could reach through time, through worlds, just for a moment to them and tell them she was ok. She could only hope that perhaps time passed by more slowly in this strange place. Perhaps it had only been days or hours since she’d been gone. Although…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a part of her that was beginning to hope it had been even longer for them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What if it had already been years? Had they held a funeral in her honor, spent time mourning, and then slowly moved on with their lives? The more she thought about it, the more she began to hope that was true, and that the bulk of their suffering was already over. She hoped they were beginning to forget about her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It might ease her pain as they continued to slowly fade from her mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But she supposed, as she swiped at the tears running down her cheeks and into her hair, she’d never know for sure. And it certainly didn’t change her fate. She had her own worries, right here in this world.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ben</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was instantly consumed by the memories of earlier that evening, hearing his pained words and seeing the agony etched on his face as he described reliving memories that he wished didn’t belong to him. And no wonder it hurt him. Rey couldn’t imagine all the things he’s seen and heard. Much of his pain and past were completely unknown to her, but even what she had seen and experienced was enough to haunt someone for the rest of their lives. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course he didn’t want to remember all of that. Why would he?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I did want to take your hand...Ben’s hand.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Rey squeezed her eyes shut, remembering that moment and the weight of that confession, not just to him but to herself. Admitting it aloud was the first time she’d truly admitted it, period. And what had her meaning really been?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was trying to tell him that she simply wanted to be with the </span>
  <em>
    <span>real him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She didn’t want the mask of darkness and the connection to all the evil that still had a hold on him. She just wanted </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And what was he offering her now?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rey clasped a hand over her mouth as a fresh spring of tears erupted, bittersweet clarity and relief washing over her. She finally understood. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She knew what she needed to do. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Ben walked up the steps of his apartment building, balancing mail in one hand while checking his phone with the other. He’d sent Rey three texts since she’d walked out the door the previous evening, but she hadn’t responded to any of them. He wasn’t sure what else to do and was just considering his options when he reached the top of the staircase, turned the corner...and saw Rey sitting on the floor against his door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rey,” he uttered in shock as she stood. “How long have you been here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shrugged. “Not too long. I wasn’t sure when you were getting back from work so I just took a walk and decided to wait here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You could have called or sent me a text.” He fished his keys out, unlocking the door as she stepped aside. “I sent you some messages.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah I know. I um, I just didn’t know what to say before.” They stepped inside and he shut the door. “But I do now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben managed to set his mail and keys down, eyes staying glued to hers, intense and focused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rey, I just want you to know that I really am sorry. I didn’t want to-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, Ben, and I understand,” she cut in. “I just- I need to get this out. I promise you can talk afterwards.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben nodded, taking a seat on the other end of his couch from her. He definitely had things to say, but he didn’t mind letting her go first, seeing as she appeared to be near bursting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rey took a breath, clasping her hands together tightly as she finally opened her mouth again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you know that you’ve told me more than once, to let go of the past? I didn’t want to hear it, either time you told me. For a long time the past was most of what I cared about, it was what drove me forward. You weren’t really like that. You wanted to be your own person, make your own path for yourself, and not look back. I just think it’s interesting that we’re in such a different place, and we’re so different here than we were before...but here we are having the same conversation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She stopped, and Ben was pretty sure he saw her chin quivering. He wasn’t sure where this was going, but he hoped it was somewhere good. Because he was already desperate to take her in his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let the past die,” Rey whispered. “Kill it, if you have to. That’s the only way to become what you were meant to be. That’s exactly what you told me.” She shrugged, sniffling a bit. “Well, maybe this is what you’re meant to be. And why not? Why shouldn’t you want this? Why shouldn’t you want to let go of all the suffering you’ve seen and experienced and just </span>
  <em>
    <span>be happy</span>
  </em>
  <span>? That’s what you were, before I came here. And I’m sorry-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her voice broke and Ben thought he might break himself soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry that I took that peace away from you. I’m sorry that I came here and pushed you to remember things that nobody would want to. I’m sorry that I’m trying to make you- make </span>
  <em>
    <span>us-</span>
  </em>
  <span> into something that you don’t want to be anymore. That’s not fair.” She took a deep and shuddering breath before giving him a little smile. “But I’m done now. I’m not gonna do that anymore. No more pushing or talking about the past, and no more reading into things. When we first met I told you that I came here to find you and make sure you’re ok. Well, that’s what I’ve done. You’re alive and safe, and you have a good life. That’s what I really care about.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben broke his silence. “But is that </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> you care about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rey held his gaze for a long moment before speaking again, more softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I care about </span>
  <em>
    <span>us</span>
  </em>
  <span> too, Ben. But being with me, being near me, that’s what’s been bringing all of your past back to the surface. I understand now that’s not what you want or need, and if being with me is going to steal away that peace you’ve been chasing for longer than you even know...I’ll walk away.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Clenching his jaw and squaring his shoulders at that statement, Ben cleared his throat and spoke again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, is it my turn now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rey nodded, looking almost like she was ready to take a hit, preparing herself for what he was about to say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re right,” he began slowly. “I’ve seen enough of my past to know that I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> that anymore. I could probably live the rest of my life without that part of me, and maybe that would bring me more peace.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben paused for breath, just long enough to see her gaze cast downward in resignation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I’ve also seen enough to know what I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do need,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” he added firmly, prompting her eyes to meet his again as his hand reached for hers. “What I need is </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I can’t explain it, but I know that I’ve never felt so...whole, as I have since meeting you. But, Rey, I need to know that you’re sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt her fingers wrap around his hand, squeezing back as she shifted over closer to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what’ll happen if we stay together,” Ben explained. “Maybe I’ll keep remembering things, but maybe I won’t. Even if I do, maybe they’ll never be truly complete in my mind. Maybe all I’ll ever get will be flashes and glimpses. And I know you’re not going to pressure me, but I also know that you’ve given up a lot to be here with me. You’ve left a lot behind and all of that is a part of you that I might not ever really understand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ben,” she murmured softly, her tone instantly reassuring. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I need to know you’re sure about this,” he repeated, his fingers shifting to interlock with hers. “If I wasn’t everything that you think I am- everything that I think I am...would it still be enough? Would you still want to be with me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rey paused, her lips trembling again a little as she gave him a quick smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y’know, when I said you disappeared, I didn’t mean you just left or moved away or something. I think I’ve been a little afraid to say this, thinking maybe it would scare you off. Or maybe I just feel guilty,” she began, making him wonder where she was going at first. “You didn’t just disappear. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>died</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Ben. And more than that...you died </span>
  <em>
    <span>for me</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You gave your life for mine, and then you were gone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt like the air had just been sucked from his lungs, those words hitting him like a ton of bricks. It was more shocking than he could express. But perhaps the most shocking thing about it was that a part of him instantly knew she was right. He may not remember it, but he absolutely believed her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You literally sacrificed </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> for me,” Rey said, shaking her head in something like disbelief. “So, you want to know whether you’re enough? Or whether I’m willing to give up a few little pieces of the life I knew to be with you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She scooted closer, eliminating the remaining space between them, cradling his cheek in her palm as she gave him a little smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>This</span>
  </em>
  <span> is what I need...just you. And I can promise you it’s worth every sacrifice I’ve made and more.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben barely managed to let her finish speaking, his lips on hers the very second the last word left her mouth, wasting no time with hesitance. He kissed her like he was dying and she was the only one who could breathe life back into him. Maybe he was, and maybe she could. He was beginning to think nothing was impossible. </span>
  <em>
    <span>She</span>
  </em>
  <span> made him believe that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rey’s hands instantly snaked around his neck, grasping tighter and providing the leverage needed to hoist herself over and onto his lap. His arms encircled her in welcome, fingers digging gently into her flesh to tug her closer as hers did the same. The way her body molded into his just felt so warm, and comfortable, and right. With every touch and every kiss, he’d never felt so deeply wanted and needed and accepted, for exactly who he was. It made him wonder whether that was what he’d always been searching for, even before he could remember.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a lot he still didn’t understand, and as he’d told Rey, maybe he never would. But he knew enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew that</span>
  <em>
    <span> this</span>
  </em>
  <span> felt like home.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yay! Togetherness! :D so things are kinda wrapping up here and I’m estimating there will only be a couple more chapters after this. Any thoughts on how the fic is going? See you guys next Friday for ch 10 because this story hasn’t come to a complete stop quite yet! ;)<br/>Beta credit to Lexie ❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Lemme tell ya, I was not sure I’d have this chapter finished for my weekly updating schedule. I managed to pull it together yesterday though, and I’m pretty relieved lol. Hope you enjoy! ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>“I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Those weathered eyes gazed back at him, patient and kind and supportive to a fault. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You do.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Then there were flashes. Flashes of darkness, of burning red light, and of those kind eyes going wide in horror and pain. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Thank you,” he heard himself whisper. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He felt the warm touch of a hand against his cheek, and he watched his beloved father plummet into oblivion. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And just as he thought he might break apart inside…</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He felt Rey take his hand. She smiled.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re not alone.”</span>
  </em>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>Ben’s eyes opened and he inhaled, deep and slow. He sat up, arching his back in a stretch and glancing at the time. He felt...surprisingly ok. It was the first time he’d awoken from a dream of memories without his heart racing, head aching, and being barely able to catch his breath. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And it was no coincidence. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He got up from bed, padding out to his kitchen to start some coffee as he hummed quietly to himself, a slight smile ever present on his lips from the memory of the night before and the feeling of her still lingering in his arms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was happy, really happy. Everything finally felt right. He wondered how long things hadn’t quite felt right before, without him even realizing it. If Rey had never come along, perhaps he’d never even know the difference.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was only then that he realized the extent to which his dreamed memories were affecting him. They weren’t just frightening and upsetting for him. They also made him feel incredibly guilty and unworthy. Just as he’d met this amazing woman and found himself falling for her, he learned things about himself that seemed so clearly unlovable. He felt like he was going to slowly lose her as he lost himself at the same time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But the previous night changed all that. She was there to stay, for better or worse, and she’d certainly seen some of the worst. She was even willing to sacrifice so much of her life that she cared about, all to stay with him. His fears having been allayed, he found that any memories recalled didn’t hold the same power over him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Those terrible memories couldn’t take her away, so they couldn’t hurt him anymore. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pressing the button on the coffee maker, something like a light flashed in his vision and he blinked rapidly, rubbing his eyes as he went to the bathroom to shower and shave.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben went about his usual morning routine, though while in the shower he continued seeing a brief flash of light every couple of minutes. It was quickly becoming more distracting and concerning, and by the time he got out he was beginning to think that if it continued he’d need to call a doctor. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Deciding to power through and at least get himself shaved, he dried off and wrapped his towel around his waist, standing in front of the mirror and wiping some of the steam away. He lathered his face and picked up the razor, taking the first swipe at his cheek, down to his jawline. As he did though, he nearly jumped out of his skin, pulling the razor away from his face and peering into the mirror. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For just a moment it had looked as if he'd slashed an open wound right down the side of his face. The very next second, it was gone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben blinked, shaking his head and squaring his shoulders as he attempted to finish the task at hand. His hand began involuntarily shaking as he attempted to take careful, controlled strokes against his skin. By the time he finally finished shaving, the flashes were continuing and becoming more frequent and he found himself relieved to turn the water on again, shut his eyes, and rinse off his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The warm water soothed him as he leaned down toward the sink, but his relief was short lived, because as he straightened up, dried his skin, and opened his eyes, it was as if a door that had been rattling loose was suddenly and violently blown wide open.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben gasped aloud, grasping the edge of his sink as his mind was hit with something like a tidal wave.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This wasn’t just isolated scenes or moments or feelings, this was </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It was his entire life and history flooding him all at once, not just as visuals, but as they truly were- a part of him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>All of him</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben lifted his eyes to the mirror again, wide and awestruck as the figurative blinders were removed and he finally saw himself clearly. His past, his present, and the hope for a new future.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He saw Ben Solo.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>“So I imagine you’re gonna see him again soon,” Paige sang happily as she wiped down the espresso machine. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I think so.” Rey grinned. “I just...I never thought it could be like this. It’s not exactly like I pictured, but somehow that’s ok. I finally feel like I’m at peace with the way things are, and I’m just happy with him. That’s enough, y’know?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well I’m glad you finally wised up and decided to just enjoy the fact that you found each other.” Paige paused. “Hey, by the way, I wanted to talk to you about something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey glanced in her friend’s direction while sweeping behind the counter. “Sure, what’s up?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve kinda been struggling with how to say this, but I guess maybe all your good news might soften the blow.” Paige shrugged. “I feel a little bit bad, but the thing is-“</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rey!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey whirled around at the sound of Ben’s voice, instantly smiling until she saw his expression.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben crossed the room to her, drawing ragged breaths as if he’d run all the way there. His eyes were wild, but not quite angry or afraid. As he neared, he said her name once more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Rey.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her jaw dropped, a chill rushing through her entire body and every tiny hair on the back of her neck standing on end as she realized exactly what she was seeing in those eyes of his.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey circled the counter, slowly walking to meet him, more sure with every step of what was happening. Because the closer she got, the more she could </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span> it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ben?” she questioned softly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nodded, a small smile blooming on his lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A laugh of disbelief escaped Rey’s lips as she launched herself into his arms, holding him tight as he did the same, causing her feet to leave the ground. They lingered, unwilling to let go, and Rey felt a tear escape as she felt that incredible oneness fill her once more. Feeling it again, she hadn’t realized how much it was missed, and she would never allow it to be taken from her again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Um, did I miss something?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They finally let go and Ben set her feet back on the floor, turning at the question in Paige’s voice. It suddenly dawned on Rey how strange a scene that must have been. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, no not really,” Rey explained, looping an arm around Ben’s waist. “I guess it just feels like a long time since I saw him last night. Oh! I’m so sorry, Paige, you were just telling me something important, weren’t you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Paige waved a hand dismissively. “Nah, it’s fine. We can talk about it later. Why don’t you take your break now?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you sure?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She smiled. “Absolutely, it’s fine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey smiled back. “Thanks, Paige. We’ll talk later. And I’ll be back in fifteen minutes, ok?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They’d barely turned the corner once outside the cafe and Ben had taken her back in his arms, nose pressed into the crook of her neck and squeezing her so tight she could barely catch her breath. When they finally separated, Rey shook her head in disbelief. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t understand. How did this happen? </span>
  <em>
    <span>When</span>
  </em>
  <span> did this happen?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was just this morning, less than an hour ago. I dunno, I had another dream, I got up and started getting ready for the day while I kept having these strange flashes, and then all of a sudden it just...all came back.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“All of it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben cradled her face between both hands. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>All</span>
  </em>
  <span> of it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey leaned into him, pressing her face into his shirt which she only just noticed was on inside out, and she smiled at the image of him dressing in that much of a hurry so he could see her and tell her the news.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can hardly believe it,” she whispered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me neither. But I’m so glad.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey pulled back again, peering up at him. “Are you? I mean, really. I can’t help but feel a little guilty, like I told you last night. You’d left everything behind before I showed up, and now you’ve got it all on your shoulders again. Not just bits and pieces now, but all of it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben shook his head. “I might have been relatively happy as I was before, but I wasn’t really whole. I was missing most of who I was. That’s no way to live your life, not really. You saved me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She let out a short laugh. “Ben, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> save </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>! I’d be dead and gone right now if it weren’t for you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His eyes were serious and his voice took on more conviction than Rey had ever heard from him before. . “It was the right thing to do, and it was what I wanted to do. Not that I wanted to die...but I wanted you to live even more.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey swallowed the lump in her throat, giving his chest a playful shove. “Well thanks a lot, because you nearly killed me all over again by dying!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben laughed, pulling her in again and kissing her, soft and slow. She melted into him, gripping his tee shirt and feeling the rush of their connection fill her from head to toe. That familiar and delicious electricity that was so uniquely theirs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re together now. That’s all that matters,” Ben whispered as he separated their lips, then he tipped his head in thought. “But I do have a lot of questions.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That wasn’t hard for her to imagine. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How did you find me? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Where</span>
  </em>
  <span> exactly is this? Is there some portal that connects this world to ours?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wish I could tell you what this place is, but I don’t know myself. I just reached out to </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> in the Force, not knowing exactly where you were, and I found you. I was able to make my way here through the cave on Ahch-To. The Force is extremely strong there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nodded thoughtfully. “It’s a known place of vergence in the Force. So that’s the way in and out of this place?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey pursed her lips. “Well, that’s the way </span>
  <em>
    <span>in</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I can’t say for sure what the way out is since I haven’t tried to go back yet. Ahch-To was a powerful conductor of the Force to get me here, but in this world the Force isn’t really active. There are no specific locations that house Force energy, so I assumed that energy to return home would have to be generated by us, by the dyad.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nodded again and then frowned a little, the scholar’s mind in him obvious whirring. “But you had no way of knowing. And if I’d never remembered who I was…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey smiled. “I was willing to stay, if it meant being with you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She paused, something occurring to her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“In fact,” she added. “I’m still willing to stay.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben looked at her quizzically. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey grasped his hands, linking their fingers as she gazed up at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want us to be happy, wherever we are, Ben. So if doing that means letting go of our old life and the rest of our world, I’ll do it, I will. Maybe now we could get home, but I want you to know that we don’t have to. Not if you don’t really want to.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stared back at her and she could feel his thoughts churning wildly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can be honest. Because wherever you decide to be,” Rey stated firmly. “I’m going to be with you.”</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>Finn walked through the cockpit door, making Poe look up from the controls. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can take a shift if you want,” he offered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nah, I can’t sleep. I’ll just crash for a couple days after this supply run,” Poe replied, leaning back against his chair. “You can’t sleep either, huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn nodded, taking a seat in the co-pilot’s chair. “Hey, you haven’t had any communication from Ahch-To, have you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Poe chuckled. “You think I’d just forget to mention something like that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn rolled his eyes. “Just figured I’d ask. Not even a crackle?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope. Nothing at all. Just silence.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shaking his head, Finn let out a deep sigh. “I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Have you ever considered that Rey found Ben, they’re both ok, and they’re happy?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Finn shot back instantly. “Why wouldn’t they have come back?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Poe shrugged. “Maybe they can’t get back. Maybe they don’t want to come back. I dunno, there’s a number of possibilities, but they’re not all bad. Maybe we should just be optimistic and assume the best.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How often does the best case scenario win out around here?” Finn huffed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Poe smirked. “Well, if you’re looking for examples, I might have seen a little kiss between two someones outside your hut last night before we went on this supply run.” Poe’s face broke into a triumphant grin at the blush on Finn’s face. “Ah ha! I see that face! This is why you’re so bad at Sabacc.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Very funny.” Finn attempted to control his expression, but he could feel his ears heating up even at the mention of that moment between himself and Rose. “And maybe try minding your own business, Dameron.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Poe lifted his hands in surrender. “Hey, I was just happy to see it! At least one of us is having some fun.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn looked away, smiling a little to himself. He was having trouble finding things to be positive about lately, but he had to begrudgingly admit that Poe was right. Maybe there were some things going well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And hey,” Poe added, making him turn back again. “I miss her too. And I’m sure she is doing her best to come home, wherever she is.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Finn agreed, his eyes trailing off to the stars again. “Wherever she is.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ooook, so now we’re for real wrapping things up. Not gonna lie, I’m ready to be done with it lol. Let me know your thoughts and you can expect ch 11 next Friday! :)<br/>Beta credit to Lexie ❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ben squeezed Rey’s hands, thinking for a moment before he finally replied.</p>
<p>“Y’know, there’s a part of me that does want to stay and just leave everything about my past behind,” he admitted softly. “But, Rey...I don’t think we should stay here. It doesn’t feel right.”</p>
<p>Her brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”</p>
<p>Ben shook his head. “It’s hard to explain, but now that I’ve been here, but also remember everything beforehand, it’s like I can see everything a little more clearly. And this place, there’s something about it that’s not normal. It’s as if it’s not real, but at the same time it is. These places and people are all real.”</p>
<p>Rey appeared suddenly thoughtful.</p>
<p>“Ben, there’s something I can explain to you now that I didn’t feel like I could before. I’m not sure you would’ve understood.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, what is it?”</p>
<p>“Well, y’know Paige?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, your friend from the Captain’s Cafe.”</p>
<p>She tipped her head. “Well, that’s the thing. That’s not where I first knew her. Or, at least knew <em> of her </em>. Do you know who Rose Tico is?”</p>
<p>He searched his newly regained memory banks. “The name sounds vaguely familiar.”</p>
<p>“She and Finn did infiltrate the Supremacy, that same day you killed Snoke, so you may have heard of her at some point.”</p>
<p>“Ok, so what about her?”</p>
<p>“Her sister died on a bomber that destroyed a dreadnought about two years ago. Her name was <em> Paige Tico </em>. It’s the same person.”</p>
<p>Ben’s brows shot up. “Wait, so how’d she get here? You’re absolutely sure that it’s her?”</p>
<p>Rey bit her bottom lip. “I’m almost 100% sure, even though I don’t know what she is supposed to look like, there is definitely a resemblance. Paige doesn’t talk about having a sister, but she’s clearly in the same situation you are. She doesn’t seem to know anything about her family or her life before this. It has to be her.”</p>
<p>Ben looked away in thought, lifting a hand and rubbing his chin in thought as he processed that information. This only confirmed some of his concerns. And the vague theories he had were beginning to take more solid shape.</p>
<p>“What are you thinking?”</p>
<p>He met her gaze again. “I was much like her, not remembering family or you or anything else either. This world, this place, I think it’s some sort of...holding cell. It’s almost like a place to be when you’re gone, but you’re not ready to become one with the Force yet. There could be more than one reason, I guess. But one reason could certainly be that you’re waiting <em> for someone </em>. That must be why I didn’t become one with the Force. I couldn’t without you.”</p>
<p>Rey reached up to gently touch his face, a brief look of pain clouding hers. </p>
<p>“Were they close?”</p>
<p>Rey nodded, swallowing visibly. “Very close. It nearly killed Rose to lose her.”</p>
<p>“Well, this is exactly the kind of thing that makes me think we can’t stay here. This isn’t really a place to <em> live </em>, Rey. We found each other again, so there’s no reason for us to be here. And I’m afraid of what would happen if we stayed. I lost almost everything about who I was instantly, but if we stayed here for years, who’s to say it wouldn’t gradually happen again?”</p>
<p>He noticed Rey hesitate a bit. “Actually, I think that’s what would happen. I’ve been feeling unusually forgetful recently. I think it was starting to happen to me, particularly before you remembered everything. It was like you were the one anchor I had to who we were, but if I didn’t have you, things started to slip away.” </p>
<p>Ben tugged her in against his chest, holding her tight as he realized that she had been losing herself and she knew it...but still chose to stay by his side.</p>
<p>“So, we’re going back?” Rey mumbled against his chest.</p>
<p>He nodded. “I think it’s the right thing to do. Since we’re together, we should have slipped into the Force. But since you didn’t die in order to come here, this isn’t the way of things. I’m not sure if we even can go back and not just move forward, but we have to try. Staying here isn’t right.”</p>
<p>She pulled away, looking up at him. “What are we gonna do about Paige?”</p>
<p>Ben pressed his lips together tightly for a moment, knowing the answer before he even played out the possibilities in his mind.</p>
<p>“Rey,” he replied as gently as he could. “We have to leave her here.”</p>
<p>Rey’s shoulders slumped in frustration. “But how can I do that? What’ll I tell Rose?”</p>
<p>“Think about it,” he urged. “If this is a place to wait for that other person that you need to be with, then this is where she needs to stay so that she and Rose can see each other again someday and become one with the Force together. Until then Paige will be happy and live her life without the pain of missing her sister. And as for Rose, things won't be any worse than they already were. Her sister is already gone and she’s already missed. This doesn’t have to change anything for her.”</p>
<p>Rey sighed, running a hand through her hair and speaking mostly to herself. “I can’t even tell her about this can I? Knowing would kill her all over again and it would drive her crazy that there’s nothing we can do about it. She can’t ever know.”</p>
<p>“Besides, we could be endangering Paige if we tried to bring her back with us. It’s enough of a risk for us to try and get out of here and back to our world.” Ben paused, frowning. “By the way, we don’t really have a plan for that, right? I know you said you assumed the power would come from us as a Dyad, but what are we supposed to actually do? Where do we go?”</p>
<p>Idly moving her fingertips over the exposed seams of his tee shirt, Rey tilted her head. </p>
<p>“For a start I’m thinking we need to go back to the woods outside the city, which is where I landed when I got here. Maybe we can find a portal. I dunno how to get there, but Paige would. She’s the one who ran into me on that stretch of road. I could ask her to give us a ride.”</p>
<p>“That’s a start,” Ben agreed. “And once we get there we’ll just…”</p>
<p>She gave him a little smile. “Try to do something nobody has ever done before.”</p>
<p>“Right.” Ben smirked. “No big deal.”</p>
<p>“Can you come back to the cafe this evening? I’ll ask Paige to give us a ride when we close up. We may as well not put it off.”</p>
<p>“I agree. And if it doesn’t work we’ll just need to work on coming up with another plan. One way or another, we’ll figure something out together.”</p>
<p>Rey’s expression shifted suddenly, and she stared at him intensely for a moment before her lips parted again. </p>
<p>“Ben...I love you.”</p>
<p>A part of him knew, of course he did. They were a part of each other, two that were one. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t felt that she loved him. But to hear it…</p>
<p>“It- it didn’t feel right to say before now. It’s not that I didn’t feel it, I did! But before this you weren’t really...you. Now that you are-“</p>
<p>“I love you too, Rey.” </p>
<p>Ben cradled her face in his hands, seeing her eyes filling as he leaned in to press a kiss firmly to her lips. He could taste the salt of her tears a moment later, and he thanked the Force that she wasn’t sad or hurting this time. He never wanted to see tears of that sort fill her eyes again if he could help it.</p>
<p>She gave him a watery smile as he pulled away and they both caught their breath.</p>
<p>“I should get back inside,” Rey whispered. “Be back here at seven, ok?”</p>
<p>Ben gave her forehead another little kiss. “See you then, Sweetheart.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>“Did you enjoy your little makeout break?” Paige teased as Rey walked back into the cafe. “Don’t lie and act like it was some kind of serious business meeting.” </p>
<p>Rey managed a laugh, trying to ignore the twinge of pain in her gut at how little Paige understood about the seriousness of their conversation. She needed to ask Paige for a ride, break the news of her leaving, and it was hard to know where to begin. </p>
<p>She was relieved when Paige made a move first.</p>
<p>“So, I don’t want to let myself put this off any longer. I really do need to tell you something,” Paige said, an air of apology in her voice. </p>
<p>“Of course, tell me!” Rey circled around the counter to join her, glad that the late morning lull had hit and they could talk freely. “I’m sorry we got interrupted before.”</p>
<p>“Nah, it’s fine. I’m the one who’s been putting off telling you because I feel bad, but that’s not really fair to you.”</p>
<p>Rey frowned a little in confusion as Paige went on.</p>
<p>“The thing is, I’m going back to school.”</p>
<p>“Oh! Well, Paige, that sounds great. But I don’t understand, why would you feel back telling me that.”</p>
<p>She drew a breath. “Well, it’s not around here, which means I can’t stay in that apartment.” She winced at the admission. “But, you can still stay there if you want! Not that it would be super affordable if you’re on your own, but you could always find another roommate if you wanted. Or hey, maybe you and Ben…”</p>
<p>Rey had to conceal her relief, refraining from literally jumping up and down at this news. Not only was she released from some of the guilt of leaving Paige on her own, but now it seemed that she had exciting things happening for her right here in this world. She had things to do and places her life was going to go that would make her happy. </p>
<p>A little overwhelmed, Rey closed the distance between them and hugged her. </p>
<p>“Are you upset or are you happy for me?” Paige mumbled. “What’s happening?”</p>
<p>Rey laughed, giving her an extra squeeze before pulling away again. “Happy, of course. I’m <em> really </em> happy for you, Paige. Meeting you and becoming your friend, being able to stay with you and work here with you, it’s meant more than you’ll ever know. But it’s time for a change, and it’s all for the best. So there’s absolutely nothing for you to feel bad about.”</p>
<p>Paige exhaled in a puff. “Oh that makes this so much easier! Thank you for being so understanding, you’re the best. So I should tell you that I’m going to need to move out in probably about a month. Hopefully that gives you enough time to decide what you’d like to do.”</p>
<p>Rey smiled. “Actually, it won’t be a problem at all. I don’t need any time to decide where I’ll be going from here. I have something to tell you as well.”</p>
<p>“Oh yeah?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. And I also need to ask you a favor…”</p>
<hr/>
<p>“So you’re sure you just want me to drop you off?” Paige asked as they drove down the darkened road. “I hate to just leave you here at night.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, honestly,” Rey assured her. She gave Ben a sideways glance in the backseat. “Like I said, we’ve arranged for another ride the rest of the way home.”</p>
<p>“Ok, if you say so.” Paige replied with a shrug, then she gestured down on the car floor. “Hey, can you grab me the charging cord down there? I think my phone is getting low.”</p>
<p>Rey did as she was asked, feeling around in the dark and grabbing at what felt like a cord. When she lifted it and held it up in view though, she nearly gasped aloud.</p>
<p>“Oh my gosh, was that under the seat this whole time?” Paige exclaimed before Rey even had the chance to ask about the necklace dangling in her hand. “I have been looking for that for ages, I thought that was lost!”</p>
<p>Rey had to swallow, her throat feeling dry as a bone as she stared at the identical necklace to the one she’d seen countless times around Rose’s neck. </p>
<p>“Where did you get this?” she managed.</p>
<p>“Oh I’ve just had it forever,” Paige explained casually. “Might have been some family thing, I’m not sure. I used to wear it all the time, but the cord broke at some point and I thought it was just gone.”</p>
<p>Rey felt Ben’s hand reach up and touch her arm, clearly sensing her need for support. </p>
<p>“I’ll um, I’ll fix the cord for you,” Rey offered, hoping the crack in her voice wasn’t noticeable as her fingers worked quickly, tying a secure knot that wouldn’t be coming undone any time soon. </p>
<p>Once she was done, she looped it around the mirror, letting it hang and dangle back and forth, the crescent shape gleaming just a bit from the street lights they passed by. </p>
<p>“That’s perfect, thank you so much!” Paige gushed. “Man, you’re still helping me out even as I give you a ride out of town, huh?”</p>
<p>“I owe you a lot,” Rey replied sincerely. </p>
<p>“I think we both do,” Ben agreed from the backseat. </p>
<p>“It’s been my pleasure, not that I really did all that much. Not like I’m some kind of hero!” Paige laughed. “I’ll miss you guys. I hope we get to see each other again someday.”</p>
<p>“Someday,” Rey said softly. “I’m sure we will.”</p>
<p>A few minutes later, Rey and Ben were standing hand in hand, waving to Paige as she turned her car around and drove away. As the lights got dimmer and further away, Ben reached over and helped wipe away some of the that had fallen down Rey’s cheeks. </p>
<p>“It’s gonna be ok, Sweetheart,” he whispered. </p>
<p>“I know,” she sniffed, then drew a shuddering breath. “It’s just hard. Come on, we should go.”</p>
<p>They walked into the woods and Rey led the way in the direction she vaguely remembered having come from the day she arrived. Once they’d walked a short distance, she stopped, staring up at the night sky peeking through the tops of the trees. This seemed as good a place as any. </p>
<p>“Now what?” Ben asked.</p>
<p>Rey turned, facing him and giving him a small smile. “I have an idea.”</p>
<p>She lifted her hands, palms turned toward him, an invitation which he immediately accepted, bringing his hands up to meet hers. Their fingers fell together, interlocking and keeping them connected.</p>
<p>“We’re going to need to focus on something,” Rey explained. “When I came here I focused on you. But now...I think we need to try and think about where we want to return to. You’ve never been to Ahch-To, have you?”</p>
<p>Ben shook his head. “No, but I know a little bit of what it’s like.”</p>
<p>Of course he did. They shared more than she was even aware of sometimes. </p>
<p>“Can you focus on that?” she asked. “Think about that night, when we connected after I went looking for the truth about my parents. Try to feel that again, everything about it.”</p>
<p>Rey started to close her eyes.</p>
<p>“What happens when we get back?”</p>
<p>Her eyes shot open again, seeing the concern in his. She hadn’t even thought about it until then, but of course he would feel the need to ask. How could he be sure of what their world would bring for him after all that had happened?</p>
<p>Rey drew a deep breath and gave his hands a squeeze, her tone firm and determined. “It’s simple, Ben- we stay together. I go where you go, no exceptions.”</p>
<p>Ben’s lips twisted a bit in emotion, and she saw him swallow thickly. </p>
<p>“No exceptions,” he repeated softly in agreement. </p>
<p>He drew a breath and closed his eyes, prompting Rey to do the same. She could feel their thoughts slowly begin to swirl together, blending and then aligning in perfect harmony until she couldn’t tell where her thoughts ended and his began. </p>
<p>A chill ran through her and she felt Ben’s fingers tighten around her hands, but a split second later, warmth began to surround her. This was different than connecting to the living Force, but there was also something so familiar and comforting about it, feeling the energy coming from Ben and how it mingled with her own into something unique that she’d only really felt once before under very different circumstances.</p>
<p>Rey embraced the sensation, leaning into it, and she felt Ben do the same, falling alongside her without hesitation…</p>
<hr/>
<p>Rose stepped into the base’s communication room, immediately smiling at the sight of Finn leaning back in his seat, eyes shut and feet propped on the controls. There were a few scattered people working late that night but the room was mostly empty.</p>
<p>She approached quietly, leaning over the back of the chair and gently pressing a kiss to his forehead before taking a seat next to him. He was meant to be on duty but she didn’t quite have the heart to wake him.</p>
<p>She checked a couple sensors while she sat there, just to make sure nothing would be overlooked while Finn had a rest. She was pretty sure he deserved one. They’d all been working so hard, but she felt for Finn in particular, seeing as he tended to hold more of the stress on his shoulders than he should. Finn had a way of worrying, even when nothing needed worrying over. It seemed more difficult for him than some others to mentally transition out of a time of war, and into peace.</p>
<p>Particularly when one of their own was still missing.</p>
<p>Rose’s fingers drifted idly to her pendant, smoothing over the crescent shape and wishing for her friend’s safe return, for answers, for closure at the very least. She knew what loss felt like, but simply not knowing could eat at you just as bad.</p>
<p>She’d just leaned her head back as well, considering a little nap right along with Finn, when she heard a slight crackle.</p>
<p>Rose’s head lifted, glancing in the direction of the light on the board, flickering in time with the sounds of static. As she slowly leaned forward, the sounds took shape, becoming a garbled voice, and then…</p>
<p>“Hello? This is Rey, shuttle 23-545-“</p>
<p>Rose whipped her arm out, connecting with Finn’s and making him jump. She grabbed him and pointed to the radio, unable to form words as tears filled her eyes. </p>
<p>Finn’s eyes became saucers, grappling the comm and depressing the bottom as his other hand linked tightly with hers. </p>
<p>“Rey! Rey? It’s Finn!”</p>
<p>“Finn?! Maker, it’s good to hear your voice!”</p>
<p>Rose shoved over closer. “Rey, it’s Rose! We missed you! Are you still on Ahch-To?”</p>
<p>“I am.” She paused and they could hear a smile in her voice. “And Ben is with me.”</p>
<p>Finn and Rose turned to each other, an expression of thrilled amazement blooming on their features.</p>
<p>“Well what are you waiting for?” Rose demanded excitedly. “Are you on your way?”</p>
<p>“I hope so,” Rey answered. “I’d like to talk to the commander first, but that’s the plan.”</p>
<p>Finn jumped up. “I’m gonna go find the commander now. And Poe! I’ll be right back!”</p>
<p>“Rey, you were gone for months!” Rose said as Finn ran off. “Were you in danger? Did anything go wrong?”</p>
<p>She could hear Rey laugh a little. “There were a couple bumps in the road, but it all worked out eventually. It um…it wasn’t the kind of world I thought it was going to be.”</p>
<p>Rose shook her head. “Must have been scary.”</p>
<p>“It wasn’t so bad, actually.” Rey was silent for a breath. “I met some wonderful people.”</p>
<p>Rose reached up, grasping her pendant and smiling, feeling such overwhelming relief that all their month of worry had now been allayed. </p>
<p>“I’m so glad,” she said. “And I’m glad you found Ben. I’m so happy for both of you.”</p>
<p>“Leia’s was right, I know that now more than ever,” Rey added, a confidence in her voice that warmed Rose. “No one is ever really gone.”</p>
<p>THE END</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The End! Phew lol! I’m not gonna lie, I’m relieved to finally finish this one. Hopefully the way I wrapped it up feels satisfying. I feel like any of you who had gotten into this fic were more invested in Paige than Rey and Ben by the end! XD So that was the part I was a little nervous about bringing to a close since I think some hoped for an ending that wasn’t quite like this for Paige. But anyway, thanks for following along, leaving kudos, commenting, etc. I really appreciate it and I hope to see you again soon because I have a couple more Reylo WIP I’m about to get going with. :)<br/>Beta credit to Lexie ❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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